When I was diagnosed with depression, I didn't tell a soul except for my parents. I was under the impression that something was wrong with me. I was convinced that since I was such an outgoing, bubbly person that was known to be nothing but that, it was something I had to keep a secret. All throughout my lifetime I was known as that girl that was constantly goofy and always knew how to make someone laugh, even if it was at the expense of my own pain. Dramatic, I know it sounds that way. I tried to hide it for as long as I could, but I finally embraced it and found that it was something that was pretty common, but by no means was any particular case similar to the next.
"Oh, you have depression? Good thing that's not a physical disorder though." As a young adult diagnosed with such a severe disorder, it not only took a toll on my mood, but a strong toll on my physical being. Depression isn't being sad or upset. It's honestly the hardest thing I've ever tried to explain to someone. Emptiness is the word that comes to mind when someone asks what it's like to be depressed. Not only does depression affect my mood, but also my eating habits, sleeping habits, as well as physical pain. I thought it had to be something else, but my doctor explained to me that depression is a spectrum and someone can be anywhere from mildly depressed to severely. No two cases of depression are the same and it's time we start taking note of that. Just because your cousin's sister's friend had a similair situation doesn't mean that's the same situation everyone with depression faces.
The other most frustrating thing a person with depression can be asked, if not the question that makes us the most livid is, "It's all in your head. Like, why can't you just be happy?" There it is. The million dollar question. Well, friends, don't you think if it were that easy that no one on this earth would have depression? Those with depression don't know how to feel and that's the problem. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and trust me, we would be thrilled to know why we can't just snap our fingers and be ecstatic. It's not that we are pessimists or complainers. I hate when I get sucked back into my depression and feel the negative energy. No one wants to be around a negative person, which is what makes having this disorder truly frustrating because we are fully aware.
Overall, depression can be the biggest bitch life hands to us. Those who may or may not be diagnosed feel that struggle first hand. My doctor told me there are numerous cases of depression that go undiagnosed each year due to different reasons. If you think you might have depression, don't ignore it like I did. Your friends that truly care for you will be supportive. Never let anyone in your life let you feel as if this mental disorder isn't real and doesn't affect your everyday life. You are more than your depression. My depression is a part of me, but I won't ever let it define me. Here's to the friends, professors, and significant others out there that are dealing with someone with this disorder. It's not easy to balance a life with someone who faces this, but recognizing the challenges depression brings is what I aim for our world to realize. We didn't choose depression, depression chose us. I choose to kick its ass. How about you?
