"For surely there is a future hope for you
and your hope will not be cut off"
- Proverbs 23:18
I struggled with depression for about half of my high school career. It ripped me apart and left me to pick up the pieces alone. For two years, every day was a struggle and every night a battle. It was literal hell on Earth. I don't say this to gather sympathy, because pity does nothing for me. I say this because depression is something we need to talk about.
From my perspective, there was no end to my constant pain. I could only see the darkness that clouded my vision. I felt more alone than ever in my entire life, but I was surrounded by a sea of “friends.” There are not enough words to accurately describe how I felt during those two years. It was like someone was suffocating me while stabbing me in the heart. Imagine such intense physical pain-that is what I went through.
The truth is, my depression caused other issues, like it will for many others suffering like I did, that just added to my agony. I struggled deeply with my self- worth and identity. I would stand in front of the mirror and try to figure out who I saw. To no avail, I only saw a worthless piece of human flesh.
Thankfully, my story didn’t end with my pain because I found a light.
When I thought all hope was lost, there was a man standing at the end of that dark tunnel called life. Instead of my usual darkness that I had convinced myself was all I would ever know again, all around was light. That man was Jesus. In the midst of all my heartache, He picked me up and made me whole again.
This is my main point: God is bigger than our struggles!!! It may be hard to see that in the middle of those struggles, but God is just as faithful when we can’t see Him as when we can. I thought that I was going to die, that I would never be happy, that the world was better off without me, that I was alone, but God had another thing planned. It is in those low moments, when we have hit rock bottom and have nowhere else to go, that the creator of the universe does His work.
The most important thing that God did in my life was give me my identity.
He told me I am chosen.
He told me I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
He told me that I am worth more than any thing.
He told me that I am His child.
So there is hope. He is the one true hope. God’s love is better than any anti- depressant out there. When the world seems to be crashing down on you, remember that God is on the throne and He is healer of the broken.
