The idea of taking care of yourself and loving yourself is something I hear all the time. However, it’s rare that people take the time to explain why we tend to let ourselves down and how we can not let ourselves down. I’m here to say, that the reason we let ourselves down is relying on external factors for happiness.
My favorite thing I learned in "Intro to Psychology" this year was that subjective feelings are said to be more important than objective feelings. For instance, I, as a very introverted person, spend a lot of time in my head. It’s not as lonely as it sounds — it actually lends itself to me being one of the most positive people I know.
One of my favorite shows is ABC’s “The Middle.” My favorite moment was young Brick Heck giving his mom, Frankie Heck, some golden advice when she feels left out of the bond her husband and older son have. He says, “If you go through life expecting other people to make things good for you, you're going to be disappointed. The only person you can depend on is yourself. And I guess I'm lucky because I like myself."
This made me realize that the times in life I’ve felt negative have been the times when I’ve depended too much on other people. Putting too much weight on a relationship with a family member or friend, inventing traits in people that aren’t there, living too much in the future...those things will really get you.
Something I’ve noticed is that those who are constantly doing social comparisons and talking about how their peers are better or worse than them, never seem to be satisfied. They start a conversation in a bitter mood and end it in a bitter mood.
This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t praise others for what they do well, because compliments honestly make the world go round. If you've ever been a part of an all-girl club or sports team, you know how much playing a compliment game will help diffuse any tension in the atmosphere.
But what would happen if we left it at that — a compliment? “Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that knowing how to be alone is just as important as knowing how to be with people. I wholeheartedly appreciate what the outgoing people in my life have taught me about how to talk to people. I can only hope that I’ve taught them a thing or two about how to be alone.
