Going to the dentist's office is the worst thing on earth. Sitting there waiting for your name to be called to be the next victim with the smell of fluoride and toothpaste in the air isn't how I want to spend my day off. Then they call your name, you go back in the back and sit in the big body chair. That's when the doctor starts to pick at your teeth and interrogate you about your hygienic habits. Here's a list of things that I'd rather be doing than go to dentist.
1. Attend a Funeral
2. Have brain surgery
3. Run a marathon in 120-degree weather
4. Have a million mosquitoes sting me at once
5. Clean every inch of my house
6. Study for a math exam
7. Learn a new language (caveman)
8. Rob a bank
9. Swim with sharks
10. Shave my head
11. Break my face
12. Get shot
13. Have a soccer ball kicked into my stomach
14. Have my wallet stolen
15. Stand outside in a tornado
16. Have a coconut fall on my head
17. Be stranded in the middle of an ocean
18. Be a poop scooper at the circus
19. Have the crimson tide rush over me every single day for the rest of my life
20. Drink soap
21. Have my car die in the middle of traffic
22. Have a bird take a crap on my head
23. Have to pay the bills
24. Burn the last box of mac n cheese
25. Burn to a crispy tomato from the sun
26. Stand on an erupting volcano
27. Be lost on a stranded island with nothing but a volleyball
28. Have a 10-hour-long bloody nose
29. Break every bone in my body
30. Get attacked by a rabid dog
As you can see I really don't enjoy the dentist. I'd much rather live my life in peace than have to deal with this war outside between me versus the tooth doctors because I probably won't win.
