I wanted to know more without being to obvious about it.
I wanted to calmly walk into the winds and let my mind go.
I wanted to stand in the fields and dance under the moon.
But mostly I wanted to hold you.
Those times when you'd look up and see me.
Our eyes would always meet.
We knew to keep our distance because of the history.
The fallen sheets, the bittersweet.
I loved seeing you laugh with your friends.
I quietly celebrated your success, even in all the messiness.
It was a whirlwind, you and I.
Every now and then it still makes me cry.
If you told me, "this is it, I want you."
I'd drop everyone and find my home within you.
You watch me go but you knew I was never too far.
I knew you watched me like my ancestors watched the North Star.
Wondering often if our time had passed.
We're holding two ends of the hourglass.
I speak to you briefly and but never fully openly.
I was too honest once and you chose someone else.
My heart is timid now.
It only wakes to crashing waves and certain sounds.
You held the key to my heart but some say you lost it.
Truth is, I actually watched you toss it.
Now i'm just sitting here wet from the rain.
My subconscious slowly leaking out of my brain.
All i'm thinking of is the song you used to play.
The Beatles one, that's what I crave.
I know now unlike I did before.
I've experienced more, traveled more, grown more.
I've whispered my secrets out loud.
I've danced strongly under the moon.
Yet I still can't hold you.