10." Halloweentown" (1998)- It may have been the way they swapped out the main actress and hoped we wouldn't notice (WE DID), or the fact that they thought this movie was so captivating that we needed three sequels, but it was salient enough to prompt us to question whether or not our friends were secretly goblins.
9. "Quints" (2000)- The poster says it all; watch out for the baby tornado Kimberly!
8. "Get a Clue" (2002)- If the star cast isn't enough (Lindsay Lohan AND "The Suite Life's" Brenda Song?), the high stakes sleuthing is about on par with "The Mosby Boys" and “the case of the missing retainer.”
7. "A Ring of Endless Light" (2002)- This is where you can tell the writers at Disney are getting tired of the same old platform where the main character turns into an unlikely mythological being (for example, witches, twin witches, mermaids, and my personal favorite, leprechauns), and take an artsier approach. It has it all: poetry, dolphins, a #deep name, etc.
6. "The Even Stevens Movie" (2003)- Let me start off by saying that this movie is adapted from the hit show "Even Stevens," so there is no way it could go wrong, period. It made the list, however, for having the biggest plot twist of the century, and probably the most obvious deus ex machina of any DCOM ever. “Family Fake Out” devised the whole thing? I did not see that coming.
5. "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century" (1999)- I hate this because, as a girl of the 21st century, it reminds me of how I am wildly disappointed with my lack of space travel. Still, who didn't swoon when Prota Zoa sang “Supernova Girl?”
4. "Cadet Kelly" (2002)- I live for the point in the movie where Hillary Duff paints the back of Jennifer's head rainbow. It's the DCOM version of Princess Diaries' “Lana got coned,” and teaches kids a healthy lesson about the sweet fruits of revenge.
3. "Smart House" (1999)- This movie is a delicate metaphor for the way technology has taken over our lives in recent years. I can just see Disney Channel execs looking at all the babies with iPads, shaking their heads, and whispering, “We warned them.”
2. "The Cheetah Girls" (2003)- When I think of "The Cheetah Girls" I am immediately reminded that Raven Symone is the worst (I mean, she was so uncool in this movie), but I can't deny that they rocked the cheetah, and had some pretty iconic songs along the way.
1. "The Thirteenth Year" (1999)- Disney's attempt at a parallel to puberty leaves us even more confused about the way our bodies are changing. Like, no wonder Cody's failing biology! You would be too if you turned into a fish every time there was a light drizzle. And don't get me started on the questionable ethics of his unfair advantage on the swim team.
P.S. Cody, the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. It's not that difficult.
