It is easy for me to tell others that they should wear a bikini. Go ahead. Who cares what everyone else is going to say about you? You own your confidence and it should not be placed into the hands of others. So how come the advice from myself does not connect from my heart, to my mind, between my thick-skull, to my eyes, to the mirror, to the body in front of me, and back?

I never asked for my body to look like this. I do not want this to be the article that starts the rumors in my town. But there are girls out there who would look at my body and still not be satisfied. I see things that I like about this medicine-made body and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because this body has given me so many difficulties over the past year.

Last year's swimsuit gaps, despite pulling the strings the tightest I can. I stare at the reflecting bones sticking out of my shoulders, at the ribcage that family members have grabbed over the past few months and my arms that people often held on to and said things like, "you need to eat a cheeseburger."

And now that swimsuit season is here I think of all my fellow women who hate their bodies for far less reasons than I do. My heart aches for them and I just want to say, buy the damn bikini if that is what you want to do. If you are worried about other people telling you to eat or put down a cheeseburger, you should know that they do not know what is going on in your life.

Because here is the thing, I may feel like a mess about losing 25 pounds in a few months, but I can not help it and I bet they would feel awful if they knew what was going in my life. If you lost weight, recently battled cancer, were diagnosed with cancer, had a baby, got married, or just want to celebrate having a healthy and happy body please rock that bikini for me and your fellow women who feel they can not.