In 259 AD, St. Valentine of Rome was martyred for deeds no historian or cleric knows. Some accounts say he settled a lovers’ quarrel with a single rose, while others doubt that there ever was a St. Valentine. But the centuries that separate his saintliness from our age of drugstore romance have propelled his name into a stratosphere unachieved by even his holiest works. This Wednesday, as in every 14th of February, we commemorate the life of a man and his martyrdom by inexplicably gathering flowers, lighting candles, and slipping decadent chocolates and fine dining experiences down the eager gullet of our soulmate.

How the anecdotal acts of a third-century bishop somehow turned into a pseudo-holiday almost as consumer-centric as that terrifying spectacle we call Black Friday is a mystery deserving of a historical autopsy. And the parade of critical clichés has already trudged through, hammering the holiday as over-commercialized, overrated, and overwhelming. But it would be a mistake to abandon Valentine’s Day simply because it is poorly named and surrounded by marketing ploys that promote a material antithesis of romantic love. No, despite everything the ides of February have become, there is enough beneath the sugary, candy red surface of Valentine’s Day to salvage its underlying sentiments of love and ephemeral romance into something a little more palatable.

First, consider a world without Valentine’s Day. Before you let that smile creep up the ends of your face at the mere thought of escapability, remember the great forehead slap that is human history. People have invented yearly commemorative occasions for hanging shards of glass off of indoor trees, for confusing the egg-laying abilities of rodents, and for ushering masked, sugar-ravenous children door to door in glorified beggary. A holiday centered around romantic partnership is infinitely less ridiculous, (even if more painful) and thus more inevitable. There is no absconding the social pressure to metaphorically consummate love with showers of seasonal gifts, so why not embrace the disgrace, adding your own personal touch along the way?

Creativity and sentimental honesty are the keys to a quintessential Valentine’s experience. Don’t be bound to the chains forged in the fires of Hallmark corporate offices and every florists’ union you’ve never heard of. Valentine’s Day should be a chance for expression. If roses tickle your amorous fancy, then by all means, buy them; if the one thing you know you can’t mess up is a reservation at the local ristorante, then give them a quick call in the name of love. Play to your strengths. The wielder of words might find their voice in a brief poem, while the romantically challenged may be better off displaying affection through a more tangible offer—chocolates, hugs, etc. There are no rules to February 14th except that it should come from the deepest recesses of the heart.

For all the despondent worriers and perennial critics out there, your nightmare will be over soon. Just recall that if it weren’t for that wondrous, joke-of-a-celebration we unreasonably titled Valentine’s Day, there would be no reason to annually purchase our way into another’s heart. Remember old St. Valentine of Rome this week, and send him rolling over in his grave in the best way possible. Now, go out there, fumble a recipe for tiramisu, and make somebody happy.