To those suffering from inescapable diseases,
My heart aches when asking the simple question, "why?" Why were you diagnosed with a disease so vicious, so incredibly evil? Why were you handed such misfortune that you cannot control? Why, out of all people, did this have to happen to someone who is so unbelievably sincere, who the world would be lost without? Why is such hardship handed to those who deserve it least? The anger I have with this truth prevents me from being able to fathom it. These unanswered questions create a battlefield in my mind and heart. I don't know if I will ever receive an answer, but maybe it is because I am asking the wrong questions. Maybe the question isn't why, but how is this pain attempting to guide you? What is it aspiring to teach you? If we do not build optimism in the midst of adversity, it will be nearly impossible to fight with all our strengths.
My dear friend Jessie Williamson was recently diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, as a freshman attending Villanova. Now instead of being consumed by the thought of pursuing her passions, she has darkness (chemotherapy and radiation) awaiting her. Without hesitation, the doctors concluded there was an urgency behind the need for surgery. Within a few short days, her painful headache turned into anxiously waiting to undergo a craniotomy, where they cut her brain open as she was awake for the procedure. The doctors were unable to capture all of the tumor because doing so would require Jessie to lose her speech abilities. Imagine fearing your own demise at the age of 18. All of what occurs in the life of a spontaneous teenager must be put on hold, for the sake of being forced into war with a revolting disease. Yet, through the start of this treacherous road, she has remained insanely positive, finding reasons to laugh and appreciate the love she has been given. This is what makes Jessie profoundly special. If someone could cure the world's unhappiness, it would be her. She has an infectious smile and spirit. She is an ideal representation of what we need more of in this world. I have not yet found the appropriate words to use in order to convey to her the amount of inspiration she has given us all with her outstanding attitude. It is something she deserves to be honored for throughout the rest of her life.
From the perspective of loved ones, we feel hopeless and powerless in helping those experiencing such traumatic events. We crave for those suffering to understand how much unforgettable influence they have provided to the lives they've encountered. As a loved one of someone trapped in a place of unmanageable fear, I wish to emphasize the importance behind her soul when she becomes blind to noticing it for herself. Therefore, my dear friend Jessie, and all in similar places as Jessie who may be listening, please acknowledge the ways in which you are perceived during this traumatic journey.
1. When you see a disturbing amount of fear overpowering your purpose and distracting your ability to maintain a sense of hope, know that the world sees an unbelievably worthy leader.
If you find the disease is striving to change your outlook on the way the world views you and your specialities, understand that it is untrue. Push beyond what your mind is trying to make you visualize. Even if the battle has yet to begin, you are bold enough to face it with open arms and we commend you for this.
2. When you feel a lack of perseverance, know that the world feels your inspiring courage.
Your story is the epitome of heroic, and I want you to deeply cherish the fear you have defeated.
3. When you hear an overwhelming amount of silence that puts you under the impression you are alone, know that the world hears your struggle and is standing with you.
Attending bothersome doctors appointments, receiving unwanted surgeries, and getting disturbing tests done with unknown results may require you to be physically alone, but in spirit, we are holding your hand. Our hearts are invested in both your visible and invisible agony.
4. When you fail to understand the "why" behind it all, know that there is not always a reason to justify it, but there is always a way to conquer the thoughts that blind you to the beauty you can find within the fight.
There is powerful truth to be taken that will resonate within you going forward. Find that truth in the ugly chaos, even if you are convinced it doesn't exist. There is beauty even in tragedy. Look for what you may not expect to find.
I wish I could take your pain away and give it to myself. I wish I could pay someone to transfer the battle that awaits you to my future. Although I do not have the power to do so, please believe that I will be there for you in more ways than my words can express. I cannot imagine what you are emotionally experiencing, but I can assure you that you will confront it with your loved one's compelling love, fascinating support, and devoted sacrifice.
