It’s not every day that you get a second chance at your dream school. But I did. And I had to say no.

My freshman year was a messy mix of both good and bad experiences. I got to do things I would have never done otherwise -- such as seeing President Obama speak or meeting Nick Offerman. I’d also made some good acquaintances and was even enjoying my classes. Yet, something still felt off. I was left unsatisfied, as if I was missing what everyone else had. It’s hard to scroll through Instagram and see everyone’s filtered candids of them having an amazing time, while I laid in my bed feeling very lonely. I’d had this movie like vision of what I thought my freshman year would be like, so when it didn’t match up I was left feeling. Three weeks in and I’d felt like I knew what I needed to do. I was dreading the loneliness of the weekends and missed having even the simple ability to tell someone about my day.

So, as winter break approached I, timidly, started to look in the transferring process. I’d made a list of four schools. By the March 1 due date I ended only applying to one: the dream school, the one that had rejected me in high school. And as it would happen, they were willing to take me.

Yet, in the two months since I applied and received acceptance, I found myself in dread over the acceptance, rather than happy. I came to realize in those few months that my family at the time couldn’t really afford the much higher cost of private school education, and there were going to be both benefits and sacrifices to transferring.

Yes, I’d be going to school in a beautiful city and the prestige of the school was pretty enticing too, but I’d also be giving up a lot. I’d probably never see my Kansas friends again, and I wouldn’t get to live in my sorority house or participate in recruitment. Plus, I’d grown to love my major here. So, with that, I made the decision not to transfer schools.

I wouldn’t say it’s the greatest decision of my life. But it’s also not the worst. It’s maybe the best decision in every aspect. I had a bad freshman year, but I’ve been very determined to make these next three years consistently better. I love living in my sorority house and recruitment, though stressful, was fun. In spring, I’ll be going to my first KU basketball game and I’m starting to involve myself more on campus. And I’ve turned those acquaintances into some of my best friends.

Am I in love? No, but the bitterness and loneliness I felt last year has, in a lot of ways, died down and I’ve actually started to enjoy myself. I enjoy my daily walk to class. I enjoy exploring Lawrence with my friends. I enjoy being here.

So, that being said, keep in mind I am not advocating that everybody stick it out and never transfer. What I am saying is that whether you decide to transfer or not, it will work out. My sister transferred six years before me and she’s never regretted the decision, and I don’t think I’ll regret mine.

There is this hype and expectation about freshman year that it’s easy to make friends and it’ll be the best year of your life, but that’s just it. It’s one year of your life. It is (cheesy as it is) up to you to make the best of it -- whether you transfer or not.