We live in a world where kids and young adults become more independent (or try to be) at an earlier age, and we have a lot of tools to let our voices be heard by a wider, even global, audience. The line between private and public line is blurred unless you put in the effort to keep it intact. All of these developments should theoretically be making life easier, but accessible communication can also be used for more nefarious and undesirable purposes. All of this makes dating and relationships much harder. But I would like to offer some of my experiences to hopefully help some of you out with your own modern dating woes.

Asking Someone Out

Professor Oak has always said, “There is a time and place for everything," and that applies to places where you ask people to go out. Here are a few times and places where you shouldn’t ask someone out: while they’re at work, on the road, during a lecture, and while they're being asked out on Skype by someone else.

Due to people’s tendencies to travel in groups, it can be tough finding an ideal chance to ask someone out. However, try to be as polite as possible and take the chance regardless of how difficult it seems. Yes, girls can ask guys out too. Regardless of who you are, if you like someone, go for it. But pick the right moment.

This isn’t like buying groceries at Safeway or buying a video game at Gamestop. You can’t just do it when it’s convenient for you because you have to think about the other person. That's basic dating 101!

Also, don't just jump into it. Compliment them on something like their hair, their clothes, their watch, their phone. Are they wearing a Batman shirt? Talk about Batman vs Super Man. Even if it’s something that seems insignificant, people appreciate the little things. It shows you care about them at a deeper level than someone who just likes someone’s body, smile, or face. It’s easier for someone to at least be willing to get to know you than if you just jump right in. With that in mind, go for it.

Rejection

It’s a result no one likes, but it's one you’ll have to endure at some point if you haven’t already. It’s important for both the rejecter and the rejectee to try and make this process easier for both parties.

If you’re rejecting someone

• Tell them in person. If that’s not possible, do so via Skype, Facetime, or even a regular call. DO NOT text, email, or use social media to break up. Definitely don’t ask a friend to do it for you either.
• Explain your exact reasons why you are breaking up with them or why you aren’t interested in them. Be sincere, but don’t be mean. Don’t resort to an ambiguous phrase like “it’s not you, it’s me” or “I have a lot going on”.
• Specify the boundaries for your relationship after your breakup, but don't just go MIA from their lives right away. Even though “we can still be friends” is a cliche, this has some real life purpose. You were friends with this person before you went out, presumably. Remaining in each others' lives could also help you get closure.
• Give yourself some time before dating anyone else. For your own good as well as theirs. Otherwise, you won’t see things clearly, and chances are the person you rebound with is nothing more than a poor replacement. Respect yourself and your relationship.

If you’re being rejected

• Listen to what they have to say. Feel free to ask them to explain their reasoning, but actually, pay attention. Try not to argue their points, and take it in as a learning experience.
• See what you can do to remain a part of their life. If you truly care about someone, you should be willing to, at least, be friends with them.
• Thank them for the good times. If you’re being rejected, the least you can do is maintain your composure and not lash out at them.
• Don't vent on social media. If you need to let off steam or seek advice, do so with people you trust.
• We all have the right to move on. We're all human, after all.

All relationships need a little more honesty, understanding, and openness.

Honesty

Des Loaf's lyric “Let’s just be honest, let’s just be real" is simple, but it harbors hidden meaning. Be honest and straightforward in your relationships. People often try to be sneaky and manipulative, but that doesn’t make for a good relationship. You could eliminate a lot of needless drama.

It’s a two-way street. If you want honesty, be honest to people in return. Life doesn’t always work that way, but it’s like how in effort you only get back what you put in. Karma is real. The more good karma you can earn, the better.

Understanding

All of us, including myself, need to try to understand people we interact with. The more we can do that, the more we can improve any and all of our relationships in life.

Openness

One door closes, another one opens. But only if you don’t lock or seal off the gateway. If life was easy, what would be the point? It would be boring if we got everything we wanted, or if we accomplished things with minimal effort. That means failure is part of the equation. Because without failure, there cannot be success. Or at least, we wouldn’t feel it.

Relationships can’t simply be defined as success or failure. It all depends on the big picture. Experiences make you the person you are today and if you learn from them, it makes you a better person. However, it all goes to naught if you live exclusively in the past. So stay open to the possibilities the future has in store for you. There’s still a long way to go and so much more to experience, so look forward to it!