Looking at the life I have lived, I understand how we are all connected. Through that connectivity comes a realization of immortality. From the time we are born, humans are constantly interacting and making connections. Through these interactions, we affect the lives of others around us, whether consciously or not. Humans are social beings and thrive in relationships.
Let's look at the life of a newborn infant for example. This child comes into the world knowing nothing, but is ready to absorb everything. As the child grows, it quickly begins to read facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. These subtle signs are picked up and processed for interpretation.
As the child grows even more, the habits of behavior he or she chooses to express are primarily learned from the parents, as well as from children of the same age. If a child has parents from a different country who have an accent, that child does not develop the accent of their parents or guardians, as they spend much of their time with kids their own age. The child will develop the habits of others around him—of the society around him.
If we examine this theory from a different angle, it is plausible to say that from these interactions, a little bit of yourself is being transferred to others. The habits of the parents are picked up by the child in one way or another. It is an assumption to think that no one wants to end up like his or her parents, but, as we get older, it would seem that this statement is inevitable. The characteristics we learn through childhood are carried on for the rest of our lives; we will end up like our parents.
If, in the end, we end up like our parents, does that mean we end up like everyone who has come before us? Of course not. However, that isn't to say that a little bit of our ancestors are not permanently living through us. Every interaction that we have with this world creates a ripple effect of uncertainty. These interactions carry out further than one can ever imagine or foretell. The habits we pick up and the memories we create are all a transfer of energy from form to form.
Physics claims that matter cannot be created or destroyed—it is simply transformed into something else. In that sense, as loved ones approach the ends of their lives, it is important for them to realize that they are not really going to be gone. The physical sense of self may deteriorate and become part of the earth again, but the essence of their presence and who they were to their loved ones around them and the world never fades. We live on through the interactions of the world. Our memory stays alive in those who choose to preserve it.
Early in my life, I learned the reality of life and death all too well. Loosing my little sister at the age of four has had a long term affect in teaching me that we are not invincible. While everyone else was growing up and exploring the world without a care in the world, I was left with the question as to what happened to my sister.
Halli was born with several life threatening birth defects which left her with the inability to do things most everyone takes for granted. Having been born with three quarters of fully operational lungs left her breathing with a ventilator her entire short lived life. As a result of the trachea in her throat, she was unable to swallow food and therefor had a feeding tube inserted into her stomach. At the moment she was born, she was rushed strait into the operating room for open heart surgery as not all of the ventricles in her heart had been formed properly.
After only being given a two percent chance of survival, Halli continued to defy the odds when she survived the open heart surgery. She lived an amazing life as a daughter and a sister for two short years. Her little while on this earth was filled with a life time of memories. Coming home for the first time was one of the happiest times of her life and the most special moment for my family and I. The whole family was so relieved to have her home where she belonged, after spending eighteen months in Children's Hospital. She was safe and this was as good as life got for my sister.
Fate soon showed us that not all miracles have a happy ending.
Time passed with her at home and life couldn't have been better. She had her first Halloween dressed up as Dot from Pixar's, "A Bugs Life". She experienced Christmas and enjoyed the plastic rocking horse Santa had brought her. She experienced her first fourth of July firework show and the warmth of the summer weather. Life was going pretty well for her it would seem, before things took a turn for the worst.
Halli soon became very ill. For what ever reason her Liver had begun to fail her; ultimately ending her life.
I still remember the last time I was with her alive as if it were yesterday; a memory I'm never going to forget. As Halli's time on this earth was rapidly coming to an end, hours before watching her take her last breath in my mothers arms, I was able to share the most cherished moment of my life.
The night of my sister's passing my parents sat me in her crib for one last goodbye. If I remember correctly she had been asleep for several hours as she was very sick and tired, but preciously woke up as I sat down in front of her. Reaching out our hands, we came together. Hand in hand we sat, a symbolism of the bond we shared only found between brother and sister. I had been there with her every step of her life. Every surgery, every issue, and every opportunity I got to be at the hospital to put a smile on her face, I was there.
Brother to sister I stared deeply into her emerald green eyes. Our gaze never faltered as we shared our last moment together. She squeezed my hand ever so tightly, it was her way of saying its okay Hunter, I love you. In that moment we knew it was our last, and in that moment she has lived on with me forever.
I love my sister and she has never left my life. I feel her around me all the time and anywhere I go. All one need do is remember what it was like to be with them. Take yourself back into that moment and sit with them, feel their presence and the emotions that come with it.
It is in times when one least expects it that deceased loved ones come around. It can be a certain smell, a sound or place which brings you back to those memories. In those memories they live forever, and in those memories you are still together.
Believe what you well, but for me there is truly no such thing as death—just a transition into another more subtle form. When someone's time on this earth is up, that person has served his or her purpose here, but just behind the scenes, if you open up your heart and pay enough attention you will notice them all around you still. Feel them in your heart, and know they still love you too.
The passing of a loved one hurts, but it is my hope to help others understand that death is natural and happens to everyone. If your on the verge of death, just know you are not going far. If you've been fortunate enough to have a family whom loves you, know that is your heaven. Within the hearts of the ones who love you is where your soul can reside. Be at peace knowing you will never be forgotten. Death is not the end, its the beginning of something new.
