Death, it's a solidified constant with life. We are born, we live and we die. This is an inevitable process for every living animal on this Earth. However, it many times comes a shock. We always want the people we love to make it through whatever ails them and manage to survive. We always want to hold onto them just a little longer and according to research studies found in an older article by CNN, deaths spike during the Christmas and New Year's holidays.
Dealing with death is always a hard thing for some people. I am one of those people. I do not deal with death well. I'm extremely human and I definitely go through those textbook effects of grief- the disbelief and the anger included. I always run through the gamut of the emotions that many but not all people feel when someone I care about dies. I just can't help it.
Death is harder when it is near the holidays. It hits you harder. It feels like going face first into a brick wall. Why? This person whether it's a family member or a friend that visits you and your family during the holidays won't be there. There will just be forever an empty chair where they're supposed to sit. It's trying and sad and you wish that seat would for one more holiday, be occupied.
I myself have lost two family members both within days of both Christmas and Thanksgiving. I had a rough time during both holidays. I couldn't help but miss both of them but before that even set in, I was in shock for several days. The one thing that is hard for many and I believe is hard to process is that although death is a definite, it can be extremely cruel.
If you have gone through this, you are not alone. As I said, I am one of those people and there are several like you. There are a few tips I can give you to make your holidays at least somewhat better.
First, you need to remember the coolest and most special times you had with that person during the holidays and remember the good times you had. Think about how they would want you to focus on the good and not the bad. They would never want us to suffer or beat ourselves up. Second, you can always take away the hurt and negative energy by making someone else smile and their holiday a little better. You can volunteer and help the homeless, you can donate time with those in hospice.
If it's near Christmas, you can give toys for toys for tots and if it's near Thanksgiving, you can donate for a canned food drive. Third, focus on talent. There is at least one thing we recognize we are good at-do that! Participating in your hobby and putting that talent to good use will make for a good escape.
Finally, there is always the option of reaching out to your other friends or family members you trust to discuss your grieving process and how you feel. They'll listen and become your support group and that might be something you need and will help you through this. So as a person who has been hit hard with death before the holidays and had to go through these troubling motions, you are not alone. Read these words and please try them. They might help you in the long run. Remember this: your friend or family member would want you to ultimately find a way to be happy again and present that smile to others that they so adored while they were here.
So as a person who has been hit hard with death before the holidays and had to go through these troubling motions, you are not alone. Read these words and please try them. They might help you in the long run. Remember this: your friend or family member would want you to ultimately find a way to be happy again and present that smile to others that they so adored while they were here.