It's the 20th and I'm writing because I want to
Do you remember play practice
That time you hit me with a chair
When Ray was in a bad mood
We laughed and you pulled my hair
That's when you became my best friend
And it was great ever since then
Jules said you were sexy
Jill said you were hot
You wore yellow when you met me
Back then I said "he's not"
I didn't mean it for a second
Though your hair is long and blonde
Your eyes are something special
Like staring into a pond
But listen, you, I'm sorry
I know we've grown apart
You're acting kinda distant
But I love you with all my heart
It's the 24th and I'm leaving
I'm going with the Jazz group
Packed my bags and head for Disney!
And I know you love coasters
I'll make sure to ride them all
Just saying I love you mostester
Sorry that I haven't called
But remember when you had 9 pancakes
And our moose game and our "gang"?
You love the food my mom made
And the park where we used to hang
I miss our talks at Fro-Yo
But you've been out smoking pot
It wasn't always a problem
But now it's just a lot
I guess that's why I haven't called you
I will when I get back
My momma will make you more pancakes
And you'll love every stack
It's the 26th and I'm 15 in 3 days
Disney really sucks, man
It's getting harder every day
No one talks to me here
Eileen ignores me too
I'm not good enough for all of them
I haven't said it, but I miss you
This has nothing to do with singing
It has to do with friends and cliques
I'm that stupid awkward puzzle piece
The one that just won't fit
But remember your birthday?
We saw the shark movie and we cried
I was scarred from that movie
At least it was a good time
Remember JJ's impression?
You laughed until you peed
Oh you always hated Meghan
That's why it was so funny!
It's the 27th and I'm sorry
It's been hard but now I'm done
I'm giving up, please don't be angry
At least my last days were fun
You're my llama lover, you know that?
You were the best and I loved you for so long
Don't cry, okay? I'm happy
The pain is almost gone
My birthday is now my death day
29th I'm good as dead
15 years is long enough
To fight with monsters in my head
But remember the school trip?
Savannah failed at what I'll succeed
You talked her out of it
But you can't do that for me
I know you're high or drunk and don't care
and you've been that way a lot lately
You're not you with your short hair
You're not the one who used to play with me
You were like my little brother
Always beating each other up
And I know you love my mother
So keep her company when I'm done
It's the 28th and I found out...
I didn't see it coming
Everyone's talking bout you now
Oh, Mark, oh mark how could you?
My llama lover and my friend?
How could you make me feel bad?
About my choices to choose death?
I'm a hypocrite I know that.
But quite frankly so are you.
Standing still on the train tracks...
Now what am I supposed to do....
I wish I could join you
On the clouds up with God
I know you didn't believe in him
But I do... I do a lot
I'll just take this as a sign
From you and from Him
Like you sang, "we're not broken just bent"
You were right and now I'm going to live
But... do you remember when it was worth it?
The tears, the pain, the laughs, the stains, from dirt, from pancakes, from Fro-Yo and all those bruises too
I'll cherish the damage in my head I got... cause I got it just from you.
I'll love the train when it rides by
And the P!nk song on the radio
I'll smile and wave hello, not goodbye
This is all just a phase, you know?
At least I got an angel.
And a funny blonde one at that.
I kept your yellow shirt, Mark.
Eileen kept your hat.
I'll eat pancakes and I'll think of you
The 9 of them you ate
For Shannon's surprise birthday party
You still had room for cake
I didn't know you struggled, Mark
You hid it pretty well
You laughed and smiled and joked mark
I couldn't even tell...
So rest in peace my llama lover
This poem's just for you
Big shout out to the fighters!
I'm a fighter too