Why can't you finally let me be happy in life? In the last 2 months, I have gone through so much that I am slowly giving up on wishing to be happy. I always have a smile on my face because I don't want people to know how I am truly feeling inside. I finally need to tell people how I have been feeling.
My whole life, I have hated everything about me. I was the shy-quite girl who nobody wanted to try to get to know. I didn't have many friends when growing up, so I was always alone. I always wished to find that someone to love me forever, but apparently, I must be hurt by those I love, forever.
I have been hurt by too many people in the past two months, and it won't go away. First, I was hurt by someone who I thought I loved. I trusted them with my life, but they used that against me by lying when I believed they'd never lie to me. I kept finding out from other people that this person was not being truthful to me. One thing I expect from a relationship is complete honesty, but why would I get that? I was crushed.
Not even 1 month later, I decided to put my trust in another person. That was yet again a mistake. I know there was a good reason as to why this person needed space, but after everything else that happened, this shattered me and left me to never want to trust anyone ever again. I was hoping that we could get through everything we are both going through together, but I guess not. They said they just needed time, but I don't believe that I think they just don't want to be friends with me anymore. I wanted to talk to them still, but I never get a response back other than once a day, if I'm lucky.
At this point, all I can think is, "why can't I ever be happy? What do I have to do to deserve that happiness?" What I do know, is that I don't know how much longer I can go when I am constantly being hurt. I can't take another second of it.