Please Stop Giving Me Advice About Being Single, I've Already Heard It

Please Stop Giving Me Advice About Being Single, I've Already Heard It

I know all the old sayings and I know the truth behind them.


If you're a single person past the age of 20, people start to feel bad for you and may even worry about you. It seems that whenever things don't work out with a guy I went out with, or when anything relatively negative happens in reference to my love life, all of my friends rush to my aid to bolster me. They act like it's the absolute end of the world and assume my heart is completely broken and think I've lost all faith in men and hope for romance.


Sentiments such as:

"You'll find someone else!"

"You deserve better than him!"

"You don't need a man!"

And countless others are offered in an attempt to cheer me up. Don't get me wrong, their intentions are good, but they are unnecessary because I truly mean I'm okay when I say "I'm okay."


Of course, I get a little sad when things don't work out after I've put effort into pursuing someone, but that doesn't mean I've lost all hope. In times like these, all I ask from my friends is comfort and love because I already know the advice they'll give. Not only do I know the advice they will give, but I also know that things didn't work out with me and said man for a reason. And, whatever reason that may be, it was a good reason and I will trust that things not working out was for the best.

Do not think because things didn't work out with some guy, that I've lost all faith in men and hope for the future. Do not think because I am single at 20-years-old that I am sad about being single. I am a realistic and reasonable person, and I know that someday I will meet the man I am supposed to be with. I am patient, and I will happily wait if that means getting to, someday, meet someone wonderful.

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Knowing When It Is Time To Let Go

Questions and thoughts you should consider in order to move on from someone you care for.


Some people currently in relationships have a difficult time knowing when it is time to move on from their significant others, and some people pursuing relationships have a difficult time knowing when to no longer pursue a potential mate.

Human beings feel comfortable with what is familiar, so it would make sense that though you may want to leave a relationship, you have not done so yet.

You may be wondering if you are giving up too soon, and that may be true. But, if you have harbored these thoughts for a while, you may be doing a disservice to you and your partner.

You may wonder if there is anyone else out there for you, but it is possible to love again with another.

You may be afraid to leave, but is it not frightening to stay?

Is it not frightening to subject yourself to a relationship you have all but physically left already?

It is important to ask yourself these questions and contemplate these thoughts, because often people get in the way of themselves.

And if you are pursuing a particular person as a future mate and things do not seem to be heading in the direction you would like, maybe you should ask questions and muddle through some thoughts too.

No one should chase someone forever, because eventually you would lose breath.

It is important to gradually demonstrate interest and let your intentions known, but do not subject yourself to be let down constantly by a person you like. Confidence is key to courting and dating, but everyone is not for everybody.

You will come across people who like you, and people who do not. It is important to be aware of that when you are socializing with others, because you may find yourself changing yourself for others in a way that is unrecognizable to yourself.

You want to be careful not to invest too much time into someone who does not value you in the way you would like them to, because the investment may not pay out.

The road may be futile.

And if someone does not like you for you and all that you do, then does that person deserve you?

Does that person require your attention and consideration?

Is the chase worth chasing?

It is not easy to come to clear answers to these questions and thoughts, and if you are not used to practicing mindfulness and emotional regulation, you may not really get an answer. But, focus on what you can focus on. Control what you can control.

So, for example, focusing on the facts of your situation may bring clarity as to what you should do next.

There is no perfect time to decide about a relationship or a potential relationship. You have to hope that the decisions you do make at a particular time are the best ones for that moment, and hope that they will likely lead to better circumstances later.

Time is weird.

Try not to regret anything

But after reading this, you will eventually know when it is time to let go.

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