I am a true, authentic Oregonian. Born and raised, bred for the Northwest landscape. When it comes to the summer, I find it hard to share the same excitement as others. Yes, summer brings freedom, iced coffee, and grass stains. While these factors are quite satisfying, during the summer I am always missing the rain, fresh air and the acceptance of "seasonal depression." With all controversial feelings aside, here are 12 things I loathe about sunshine paradise.
1. The sweat.
I hate everything about it. The constant pit, neck, boob, hair and face sweat is an actual fear of mine. Sweating in your sleep, in the shower, in your car and every place in public. There is no escape from summer sweat.
2. The traffic.
Every single person in the city is trying to go exactly where you are, every single second of the day. So then you're sitting in your car for a monotonous amount of time, which then leads to sweating.
3. The tourists.
Like, I get it. Oregon is the most beautiful part of the U.S. in the summer and you help fuel our local economy. That said, please stay out of my favorite restaurants, parks, and neighborhood.
4. The sunburns.
I am from Oregon, I am tattooed, I am albino. Sunburns are lethal to my existence.
5. The heat.
It is devilishly hot, every single second for three months straight. Some people love it. However, I hate the heat with a fiery passion (ha). It's uncomfortable, inescapable and irritably overwhelming.
6. Long days.
Not something I necessarily hate, although it does have its inconveniences. Like when you have to work early and you're trying to sleep while it's still sunny at 10 p.m.
7. Global warming.
No season reminds you that our planet is dying better than the summertime.
8. The bugs.
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, GET OFF MY FACE, EVACUATE MY LIFE.
9. The construction.
Everyone takes advantage of the summer season, including every developer in town.
10. Leather seats.
This may be the most painful part of the summer, especially when you forgot you parked your car in the sun.
11. Air conditioning.
Because I can't afford it.
12. Finally, the smell.
This is a fact for everyone, no excuses.
Now, I'm not saying summer is the absolute worst. The season has its positive attributes that I find valuable. However, my mentality remains the same. After a month interacting with the sun, I'll be crawling under rocks and begging for autumn.
