Dear suicide survivor,
I know it's tough, and I know you think that you don't "fit in" or that you don't belong here, I am here to tell you that I know, I know how you feel.
People have probably told you it's only "drama" or maybe they told you that you only did it for attention. They just don't understand. They all say it's drama, or that you only "do it for attention," however what they don't know is that you've probably more than likely laid in your bed, cried yourself to sleep. Maybe even drew a special line on your wrist.
Put down that razor, toss those pills. I know I am not the best example to follow this by, but I have made it this far, and I want you to do the same!
The road to recovery has been a long one for me, and no the thoughts of it, and the bad days, well they never go away, you just learn to cope with them. You learn that it's okay to not be okay. You learn how to look at life with a new sort of perspective. You learn that it may not feel okay, but ultimately it will be.
Everyone has bad days, because you have to have the bad days, to get to the good ones.
I want you to know that suicide doesn't take the pain away, it only hands it off to someone else, I want you to know that YES, You matter! You are far more than those ugly names people are calling you because they are jealous, I want you to know you have purpose here, I want you to know that you're more than the numbers on the scale, your report card, and your GPA. I want you to know that the numbers and expectations people place on you don't define who you are.
I know you feel like the world wants you gone, and I know you feel like you don't belong.
You just as much as anyone else belong here on this earth. You aren't alone, I know that you feel like you are, but I promise that you aren't.
Maybe you made a decision or a mistake and you deeply regret it, in other words the past keeps coming back to haunt you.
Everyone makes mistakes, and we all regret most if not all of them. Mistakes are there to teach us a lesson. Life is about living and learning. Don't give up over some silly mistake.
I understand that you feel that no one can relate, and your world is hopeless, you feel as if you're drowning. I am not going to promise you things will be okay, and I am not going to pretend what happened just didn't happen. I know you might feel shame for what just happened, but I am not going to let you feel that way.
I have been in your shoes, I know and understand the pain and the confusion. I know how it all feels. I will not say that I know your pain, because I don't, each of us feel our own pain.
You will get through this, I promise you that you will! I don't know how, but I know that you will!
You survived that attempt, and you belong here.
Again, lay down that blade, toss those pills, burn those suicide notes. Have a "day" I won't tell you to have a good day, because those are sometimes just not possible.
I want you to give yourself a semi colon every time you think about suicide but you don't attempt it. I want you to start doing what makes you happy!
Don't worry about others, worry about you.
This much I know is true that no matter how hard you try, you can't make everyone happy, you just have to worry about you, and do what makes you the happiest most truest version of you.
I know that nights are sometimes lonely, cold, and dark, and sometimes your mind just wanders towards that direction, I want you to cry hysterically, I want you to remind yourself that you do belong, and that there is hope. I want you to go start a journal, write. Just write! About anything and everything, if you find writing isn't for you, then try drawing, if neither work reach out to me! I am happy to help and talk to you. My twitter has it's DMs set for anyone to message, just send me a message.
I started writing to cope with mine, and my friends I can't say it's been the perfect recovery, it's been a long winding road, and I have come so far. You can too!
Just stay strong.
Have hope, I am a complete stranger and I have faith in you, I know that you will pull through it.
So far you have survived 100% of your worst days, that's an accomplishment.
I know it hurts, I know its a daily struggle.
You have to have the bad days to get to the best days of your life. Please reach out and talk to someone about what you're going through.
The best thing to do when you're thinking about it, is to reach out to someone and talk to them.
Keep on going, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what. you got this, and at the end of the day it all just sort of works itself out.
Here is an amazing story, of a guy named Kevin Hines, who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Only 1% of jumpers survived, that is about 26 out of 2,000 jumpers. He is sharing his story to help spread the word that there is hope, there is help, and there is recovery. He is actually very right when he states that "no one gets it," and he is right when he says "it is okay not to be okay." He's right, you feel as if no one cares but the reality is everyone cares too much,you just can't see it, I want each of my readers to see this amazing little clip
"To those of you that have lost someone to suicide, they didn't do it to hurt you. They did it because they were struggling with a great deal of emotional mental pain."
If you or anyone you know is struggling with these thoughts, the National Suicide Prevention number is 1-800-273-8255, press 1 to speak to someone immediately, and if you don't want to call or are unable to the link to the chat is http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/...
For veterans the number is the same but the web link is here https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/