Dear past me,
I know how you’re feeling right now. You feel so misunderstood. You feel so alone. You barely have two good friends you can rely on because they both have other friends that they would choose over you in a heartbeat.
You come home crying all the time because you can’t go a day without being picked on. You feel so out of place everywhere you go because the kids in your class made you feel that way. You can’t get away, even outside of school because the names they call you and the words they use to describe you and judge everything you do linger for longer than the school hours.
You beg your mom to let you leave but she never does. You went through so many years here, at this small private school. Even though you feel so out of place here, you’d probably feel just as out of place somewhere else. The teachers and principal pretend to care when you come in with your mom to complain about how you’ve been treated, but then they witness the kids both on the playground harass you and they don’t do anything.
You are tired, so tired. You’re tired of feeling this way. You’re tired of fighting. You feel like you should just give up like it’s not worth fighting anymore. You come so close to giving up so many times, but you don’t. You don’t give up. You keep fighting. You make it through each day. You make it through middle school and high school.
Do you know why you don’t give up? You have hope. That’s why.
Hope is what got you through those horrendous years. You picture yourself, years from now and how life can possibly be. You hope that one day you can be happy and not have to deal with these people.
Let me tell you something. It all gets better. It took some time but, eventually, it did get better. You don’t have to deal with those people anymore. You don’t see them or hear from them ever.
You learn how to live with your past. It makes you who you are today. It is a part of you but it doesn’t define you. Yeah, you get super anxious because of the scars those years have left, but you do get to be genuinely happy one day.
It gets better. You just have to wait.
Sincerely,
