Dear Best Friend No Longer In My Life
Start writing a post

To The Best Friend Who Is No Longer In My Life

"I miss who you were, not who you became."

To The Best Friend Who Is No Longer In My Life

I was so scared when I started college.

I didn't know anybody, but I was lucky enough to be stuck in a dorm with a stranger like you.

We grew to be inseparable and I thought I had found my 'person.' I thought I finally found that 'college friend for life' people talk about so much.

I felt so lucky to be going through this scary world of college with someone who complimented my personality so well. Just from a semester with you I could see myself growing and changing. I was becoming more like you: confident, social.

As I changed, though, so did you.

They say the traits people often fall in love with are the first ones they grow to hate as well, and our relationship was no exception.

Socializing became a priority and confidence came at the expense of other people's feelings—sometimes my own.

I continued to become more like you, but as I formed my own relationships outside of our own, I became aware of the person I was turning into.

Dear, old friend: I did not leave you because I had other people. I left because other people made me notice who I was turning into.

I started to admit to my own flaws, but, as I drifted, I watched you continue to grow into yours, morphing them into your personality.

I did not wish to become this person.

Dear, old friend: I don't know if you understood why I left, but I hope you someday will.

I hope you will one day realize that while you changed since our first year of college together, you did not always change for the better. You turned into the person you always voiced your disgust for. You became the person you never wanted to be.

You manipulated the world around you to suit your needs and refused to adapt to others. The less people wanted to fit into your world, the more of an enemy they became. It only fueled the flames.

The desire to control overcame you, and, as I learned from you in our freshman year, nobody should let someone else control who they are—so I left.

Dear, old friend: I miss who you were, not who you became.

I'm sorry we're no longer together.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there to cheer you on at graduation, and celebrate your 21st, and create amazing new memories with you.

I'm sorry I stopped being your friend, but it felt like you had stopped being a friend long before I left.

I truly hope you do well in life because I hope as you continue to grow in age, you will grow as a person. I hope your successes humble you. I hope you learn to appreciate the people around you and the life you have.

Learn from your past and grow from it.

Please know that fixing yourself cannot fix us, though.

The damage is done, and while I can move past what once was, I cannot look past who you turned into.

You were my best friend, but I lost that.

I always imagined us as old, wine-drunk ladies laughing over all the terrible selfies we took in our dorm rooms.

I can only imagine us as strangers now.

So, old friend, I leave you with something new I have learned in our time apart: If you feel guilt for who you've been in the past, apologize for it no matter what.

Old friend, I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
We Need More Than Memorials this Memorial Day
Cape Cod Irish

When I was a child, I used to look forward to Memorial Day Weekend from the time I returned to school after Christmas vacation. It was the yearly benchmark announcing the end of the school year and the beginning of summer vacation. It meant I was one step closer to regattas, swim meets and tennis matches.

Keep Reading...Show less

5 fun Summer Vacations that won't break your bank

Enjoy the sun, relax the wallet - here are the estimated costs

5 fun Summer Vacations that won't break your bank
Endless Ocean
We compiled the costs related to 5 enriching summer vacations for this year in the thrifty sense:
Keep Reading...Show less

I remember how exciting summer was when I was a kid. I would just be eagerly waiting for school to end so that I could fly to some exotic location with my family for the summer. Or hang out with my friends every day. Or just lay around in bed or read, paint, draw, basically do whatever.

Keep Reading...Show less
Remembering the Memorial in Memorial Union

Sometimes it's hard to remember that Memorial Union at the University of Missouri is actually a memorial, not just a place to take a nap on a couch and get Starbucks.

Keep Reading...Show less

Soccer, Spain and Racism

The whirlwind events of last week reflects the sad state of sports in Europe.

Soccer, Spain and Racism

When we think of events that have transpired in the US over the last few years, a lot of it ends up in spotlighting the division in the country. However, things across the pond seem to be no better - at least when it comes to sports. Last week, Real Madrid - arguably the richest sports franchise in the world, had one of their Brazilian strikers subject to vicious racist attacks in Valencia. The player, Vini Jr posted this example video in his Insta account:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments