Dear 13-year-old me,
At this time in your life, your priorities range from making mom and dad proud, making sure you dress just the right way, having perfect hair, and yet you're petrified by makeup because you can hardly paint a piece of paper, let alone your face. You're worrying if any boys like you and if you'll ever find love like you see in those cheesy romance movies (even though you hate watching them, but you do it anyway because that's what the popular girls watch). You're thinking about how scary high school will be, and if you'll finally be the pretty girl everyone loves. You're wondering if you'll ever leave your hometown,but you know that if you leave, you'll be forced to start a whole new life where you know no one.
As your 19-year old self, let me tell you this: nothing is as terrible as you imagined it to be. Mom and Dad will always be proud of you and always love you, no matter what, even when you feel like you've messed up beyond repair. You're their kid and as cliche as this sounds, they will always be proud to call you their daughter, even if they get disappointed from time to time.
You WILL learn to be more comfortable in your own body. Even if that body wears sweatshirts and the same pair of Vans that have been torn to shreds all of the time. You will still be clueless about make-up because, let's be real, it's all kinds of complicated and you're going to be too lazy to get up that early to do all of that. The "popular" girls don't matter in the real world, so don't worry if they'll accept you.
High school isn't anything like the movies. There is no singing and random performances of choreographed dances. Well actually there was one, but that was because it was performing arts week and you were on the dance team. You'll go off and perform in front of your whole high school, which will have you break through those walls you spent three years building in middle school. You'll end your senior year with two senior superlatives which make you realize that you earned them by being you, the nerdy tomboy you were and still are that no one liked in middle school. You are awesome, and by being yourself, you even get to win a silly popularity contest.
Now to the love part. The worst part of those cheesy movies that you watch is that they make it look like every relationship is a fairytale and has a happy ending even though that is not true in some cases. You'll find a love that will make you a stronger person and that will make high school bearable. You two will be a dynamic duo, but like I said before not, every story will end the way it does on the big screen. The end will be tragic and it will almost make you feel like the world is crashing down around you. It sounds impossible, but you will use that negative energy to realize it is time for a change in your life. You will be OK.
You will use that pain to finally leave the only place you ever knew. You'll move somewhere where no one knows who you are. It will be such a refreshing feeling to know that no one knows all the embarrassing stories that have followed you around since the third grade. People will have to get to know you for who you are, not what your past was like. You'll love it here, I promise. I mean I would know, I am you after all.
Everything you are worrying about now will all be OK one day. You are stronger than you realize. As Maya Angelou said in a letter to her daughter, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Go out and be great. Do great things and do them by being exactly who you are.
Now for my future self, Go off and achieve the goals you have set for yourself. You have been through a lot and I know whatever you're going though or well be going through will all be okay as long as you continue being your determined self.
Love,
Your 19-year-old self
