I’m pretty sure almost anyone, if given the chance, would write a letter to themselves at a past time. We would give warnings and precautions for what’s to come. We’d also give ourselves advice on how to better handle situations and encounters. Well, if I could write a letter to me, I’d go back to myself as a 13 year old. I remember feeling so lost at 13 and even more so in the years to come. So if I could get that letter to 13 year old me, it’d go like the following:

Hey Kiddo,

It’s Future You here. I’m just dropping by to give you some advice. I know you need it right about now. There are so many things I want to talk to you about, but I don’t have that much paper. Instead I’ll just hit on a few things that I think are most important and that stick out to me still today. I’ll touch a little on relationships, school and just little tidbits of advice. But first I just want to say that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the woman you will become after you handle this part of your life.

Relationships are a big part of us and you’re a people-pleaser. That doesn’t change, so I guess relationships are a good place to start. Soon you’ll be into a boy– very into a boy. He’ll be into you too, and you’ll fall in love for the first time. He will become your entire world. That boy that you love, oh so much, will hurt you. He will cheat on you, and he’ll do it again, and again. You’re going to be you, and you’re not going to let him go easily. I’m not telling you that you should, but what I am telling you is that when you let him go, when you finally let him go, you’ll never feel better. The day that you realize that he isn’t the only thing you want anymore, you will feel liberated.

There will be another boy that comes along, but this one helps you. This boy changes you for the better. His best friend won’t like you at first, but don’t let that bum you out. He will help you figure out who you are. He’ll show you so many cool songs and movies and videos. Just do yourself a favor and follow your gut when it comes to this relationship. (Psst! We’re still friends with him now.) There will be other boys too. Not too many, but enough to get caught up in them. Don’t do that. There is one boy in particular that will teach you how to let go. You’ll know who he is. But once you figure out which one he is, it’s up to you on when to let go. All these boys will always lead you to one great guy, so don’t stress over them.

You are going to feel like the next five years of your life are so unfair, because our parents are tough. You will feel left out, used and alone. You won’t realize until years later that everything our parents do to keep you out of trouble is inspired by love. You won’t feel like it is, but I promise they only mean well. They’re still here for us now when I’m nearly 21. Don’t be scared to speak up to Papa Bear when there is a problem. You still feel intimidated by him, but you’ll learn that he is one of the softest men in the world. When you get grounded, don’t be so angry. Two weeks of no cell phone or hanging out after school really isn’t the end of the world. Instead ask to go to Nanaw’s house or to help in the yard. There are so many opportunities that you’ll miss because you’ll be angry.

Do us both a favor and actually do your homework. I know C’s aren’t bad, and our parents are proud of you, but still, you can do so much better. Maybe I’m selfish for saying that to you, but if you put in just a little more effort, we’ll be less stressed in the future. Speaking of future, don’t let your years in high school pass you by. You will miss it. But I can safely say that life gets so much better after high school. It gets harder and shorter, but the freedom is all worth it. You really don’t need to go to prom if you don’t feel like it. My time around we didn’t go to prom and I don’t regret that decision in the slightest. But I do have one request. Do me a favor and sneak out once. Just once. You will have so many opportunities to sneak out, but I never did it. So you should! But be sneaky. Don’t fail me.

I’m not going to give you the whole “be responsible” spill. You’re smart. There are things that we get into and do that I wish we didn’t, but I know that if I tell you not to do something, you’ll do it. You’re going to get really sad for a really long time, but it will be okay. There will be a point in your life when you don’t think that things will get better. You’re going to be scared and feel hopeless. You won’t eat, study or want to leave your room. It passes, though. You’ll feel waves of this, and it’ll get worse than that once, but it always gets better. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, everything always looks up.

Don’t worry about talking too much. That doesn’t change. I still ramble when I’m nervous or talking to a cute boy. You won’t have as many dreams when you become my age, so try to keep dreaming. People will move away and people will leave you, but you’ll know the ones that will stay. If your gut tells you that a person won’t stay, your gut is probably right. I don’t have much else to say, because it’s your turn to live our life. You have to make your own decisions and mistakes. And believe me, we will make plenty.

The last thing I want to say is that I forgive you. There have been so many times when I’ve looked back at my past self and been so angry. I wanted nothing more than to be able to go back and change decisions I’ve made. But no matter what you do, you lead us to here. You lead us to right now. And right now, we’re exactly where we need to be. Maybe life sucks at this moment, but like I told you before, it always gets better.

You got this!

Future You