Dear Mr. Grey,
I refer to you in this letter as Mr. Grey, and no not after the Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian Grey. You and I were like the color. Neither this or that. We were in the grey area that set the tone for our lives together. You were a silent cheerleader yet you made the most noise. You were like a faulty shower valve that would either get too cold or too hot upon adjusting it an inch. On certain days I'd feel the light go out of your eyes and nothing I could say or do would make it come back. Although you never said much, your actions spoke volumes. I never doubted that you cared for me and loved me but more times than not I found myself doubting whether your admiration for my small feats was truly genuine. All my life I had worked to get approval or just a sign from someone that recognized my good works. Here you come along throwing compliments at me, encouraging me, giving me space to grow, giving me experiences that I'd never have otherwise. It all seemed to good to be true and I was right. You told me once that I was like a planet in orbit. And you didn't say it then but you said it with your eyes. You meant that you were the planet or star of which I orbited habitually. You told me that I was in an elliptical orbit; some days I'd be close to my star and some days I'd be far and when I sought the warmth of the star, I'd come back looking for it only to leave again. In saying that, I realized that you were right and I was wrong. For what seemed like eternity I had relied on your shoulder to cry on and your cheering me on, only to be confronted with your thought that I was merely seeking your attention and when least needed I'd disappear like the Titanic under the ocean. After being told I was just a planet in elliptical orbit, I came to a realization that, just like Rose, I didn't have room on my floating door. Better yet, I didnt want to make room, because what sense would it make if I let you on the door with me only to find out that our combined mass would mean both of our demises? I had to save myself first. So no, I don't run to you when I need a shoulder to cry on anymore, I don't turn to you when I need someone to blow my ego up. You helped me grow as a person and I do appreciate it. But this orbiting planet has decided to become the star and dominate her own universe.
With much love,
Your Ice Queen.
