Recently, I have taken a hiatus from my life. I have not written much and have not interacted much. In this hiatus, I had a lot of time to contemplate (so no real complaints on my end). In the wake of this contemplation, my mom's birthday quickly approached (as in I am writing this article 27 minutes before her big day!) My brothers and I all just sort of agree that I will be the one who will be in charge of finding a gift for my mom (I guess it's a girl thing, they would not understand).
As I began my annual hunt for a gift, which usually occurs a couple days before her birthday, I was a little more stressed this year and I am going to blame my hiatus. In this time of self-contemplation, I had a lot of time to think about and fantasize the perfect gift for my mother. Lo and behold, when I searched the cute local town shops and then moved to the busy malls, I was oh-so-disappointed. It seemed that the things I was searching for were intangible, and the items I got, while they were cute and she will love them, just did not satisfy my desires.
Do not get my wrong, I got her a killer outfit that she will rock, and her house will smell like Autumn all throughout the fall season, but something in my heart said this was not enough. And was it enough? I mean, what do you get the woman that decided to give you the whole world without even knowing you? What do you give the woman who decided to keep you and love you with her whole heart? What do you give the woman you call mom — the woman who deserves the world and so much more? What do I give the woman who held my hand through all the scary doctor's appointments, who sat through college visits with me, countless practices and games, and never stopped cheering me on? What do I give the woman that said she brought me into this world, so she will do everything in her power to make sure I succeed and see my dreams come true? What can I give to possibly match that kind of love? Well, I find the material things are just not enough, so I give her these words in hopes that it might be.
My mom is my hero. She is strong and wise and knows no fear. "She's the sky that holds the clouds, She's the lady of the house, A blind believer in all I dare to be" (The Band Perry, "A Mother Like Mine"). She is my inspiration for how I want to grow up — a strong and bold woman who is passionate about her vocation. She was not my friend growing up, because if she had been, I would have never been disciplined or learned a lesson or two. She was, and still is, my real life superhero. Sure there are times I can remember being so mad at her and not ever wanting to speak to her again (a little insider, I do not remember those reasons now and we talk all the time).
But, she has taught me everything I know:
Religion: "You better pray that stain comes out."
Philosophy: "Because I said so."
Justice: "I hope your kids are just like you."
And the most important one, how to love.
Her love for her students and her four children is boundless. She loves my friends like they are her own (and sometimes jokingly claims to love them more, but whatever, I am not bitter... Panya.) In all seriousness, she is extraordinary.
Every year, I wonder the same thing, what do I get the woman who has given me everything and more. What do I give the woman who has pushed me beyond my limits to be a better person? What do I get the woman who is tired, but stays strong all the time for her kids? What do I give the woman that I aspire to be? What do I give the woman who has gone through so many hardships, but never lets any of them show? What do you do for her, what do you get her?
Every year I seem to come up short in my own standards and realize I cannot give back what she gives to me, because there is no matching a mother's love. A mother's love is so grand that we can never understand until we become one, and even then we cannot understand the love our mom had for us, because now they are even more grand with life.
My gift this year is material stuff, but also these words: because of you, I am becoming a strong woman making her way in this world. I have bold and daring dreams that will come true because of you, Mom! You are my mom, and I am so proud of that. I would never want anyone else. Nobody can do what you do; you are my superhero! I know it is not easy, but thank you, Mom. If I have not told you enough (because I can never say it enough) thank you and I LOVE YOU! You have given me so much. I hope one day I can return the favor, but for now, this is what I have to give. I love you to the moon and back (times two!).
