Dear Mom, I Hope That One Day You Understand

Dear Mom, I Hope That One Day You Understand

I truly do love you, I mean what's any relationship without the arguments and disputes?
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Dear Mom, I Hope That One Day You Understand,

How Much Your Sacrifices Really Mean To Me,

Not everyone can cross such a border bearing a child within them. I mean come on, you put your life on the line for my future. You gave up your entire life in El Salvador for me. Not knowing what the states would have in store for you did not stop you but rather motivate you. You were determined to give me a better life than you had. And for that ? I thank you.

That Regardless Of My Actions, I Never Mean To Hurt You,

I'm sorry for not making honor roll once I got to high school, I should've because maybe then I wouldn't have to take out all of these loans. But hey, thats a story for another day. I'm sorry for not calling as often now that I am in college, I know I should, I really know I should, but sometimes I just forget. It never really hit me how much a simple phone call can effect your day until you rushed to school that one day. I will never forget wiping the tears off your face as you came to my door with the fear that something had happened to me, because that would've been easier to digest than acknowledging that your daughter had been ignoring you for weeks. I'm sorry for keeping you up during those summer nights when I wouldn't come home until six am. I never meant to keep you up worrying without a simple call, I guess I should've picked up my phone instead of another beer. My tattoos and piercings aren't meant to hurt you either, they're a representation of me, not you. They aren't there to make you feel that somewhere along the line you failed me as a parent, because you never did. Not once.

I Will Never Be Like My Sister,

Yes! She's amazing too, but we are two completely different people and sometimes it sucks that you can't see that. I wish you would stop comparing us or better yet pointing out our differences. I will not be a doctor, and probably won't get married but these decisions are completely my choice. The more you drilled these thoughts onto my head, the farther you drew me apart from them. Who knows, maybe if you weren't reminding me every darn day that my sister was in med school, i'd probably be somewhat interested. But fortunately for me, med school is not in career path and that is okay. Because hopefully one day you will be able to say that you have two daughters; a doctor and a lawyer.

Is Much As You Make My Life Impossible, I Love You,

I truly do love you, I mean whats any relationship without the arguments and disputes? I know that when you get mad, it's only because you realize my capabilities and become frustrated when I'm not reaching them. You truly mean so much to me and i'm sorry for not telling you that as often. You really are my super woman. And for that ? and absolutely every other reason under the sun? I LOVE YOU.

Cover Image Credit: Erika Rivera

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An Open Letter To Every Girl With A Big Heart, Except When It Comes To Herself

Because it's so much easier to love everyone around you before yourself.
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They say the key is that you have to "love yourself before you can love anyone else," or before "anyone can love you."

For those who deal with mass amounts of anxiety, or have many insecurities, that can be an extremely hard task. It seems much easier to tell your friend who is doubting herself that she looks great in that top than to look in the mirror and feel the same about yourself. It is much easier to tell your significant other that everything is going to be OK than to believe it will be when something goes wrong in your life. It becomes easier to create excuses for the ones around you than for yourself, and this is because you have such a big heart. You want those that you love to be happy and worry-free, yet you spend nights thinking about everything you have on your plate, about what you did wrong that day, fearing if someone in your life is mad at you, believing that you will never be good enough yet convincing everyone else that they are.

You are the girl with the biggest heart, yet you can't love yourself the way you care for everyone else in your life. There are many reasons that you should love yourself, though, and that's something that everyone around you is willing to tell you.

You're thoughtful.

Before doing anything, you always consider how it is going to affect those around you. You don't want to do anything that could hurt someone, or something that could make someone mad at you. It does not take much to make you happy, just seeing others happy does the job, and it is that simple. Because of this, you remember the little things. Meaningful dates, small details, and asking someone how their day was is important to you, and it makes those around you feel important too. You simply just want the people that you care about to be happy, and that is an amazing trait.

You're appreciative.

You don't need a big, fancy, and expensive date night to make you happy. Whether it's a picnic on the beach or a night in watching a movie, you're happy to just be with the person that you love. You appreciate every "good morning" text, and it truly does mean something when someone asks how you are. You tend to appreciate the person that you're with more than the things that they provide and for that, your sincerity will never go unnoticed.

You have a lot of love in your heart.

Every "I love you" has meant something, just as you remember the smallest moments that have meant the most to you. You remember the look in your significant other's eyes when they told you that for the first time. You remember the smile on your best friend's face when you told them that everything was going to be OK and that you would always be there. You remember the swell of happiness your parents felt when you decided to surprise them with a trip home one day, and you thrive off of all of that love.

You don't give up on the people you love, even if they have given you a reason to.

It is a foreign idea to just drop someone from your life, even if they betrayed you. You try to look at their mistake from every stance, not wanting to provide an excuse for them, but to give them another chance. Not everyone deserves it, and that is something that you learn along the way, but you feel good in the sense that you gave them a chance even if no one else would.

It's OK to not love yourself all the time. It's normal, and natural to stand in the mirror and think about everything wrong. And it's OK to love other people, even when you can't feel the same about yourself. But your big heart is why you should love yourself. There are so many reasons that you are a beautiful person, and the people that you spend all your time caring about feel that you have so much more to offer the world, and yourself.

So, next time you think about what you don't like about yourself, remember what makes you special –– the size of your heart and all of the love in it, and then share that love with yourself.

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Thank You, Mom And Dad For Giving Me Everything You Didn’t Have

Thank you for letting me be a kid, but now it's time for me to grow up

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Growing up it was hard to see that money didn't just come out of thin air. I am very fortunate to have the parents that I do and because of that I never had to worry about the next meal on the table or not going to college.

However, different from most people I know, my family is different. Growing up my parents had nothing. And no they weren't homeless and their family was always there for them, but they did grow up relatively poor.

My mom always told me that she never wanted me to experience anything that she had to go through. She didn't want me to have 3 jobs and no social life. She didn't want me to have to wake up at five o'clock in the morning to deliver newspapers to the neighbors, she didn't want me to have that. She always used to say my job was to be a kid.

And although yes, I was very privileged growing up, and still am, I have to give all the credit to my parents for making me see where I came from. I know that my parents worked so hard to get to where they are today.

Both of my parents had the determination and motivation to get them to where they are today. And no they didn't go to some prestigious university, but they didn't need to. They were smart and people saw potential within them.

And I say thank you to you, mom and dad because you taught me how to be kind, thankful, and humble. Looking back I could see that I was spoiled and not thankful or understanding of it, but I know now.

Your little girl has now landed herself a job and leadership positions in two student organizations right here on campus. I'm learning who I am and what I want to be. Thank you for letting me be a kid, not having a worry in the world. Thank you, your little girl is finally growing up.

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