Since when did chivalry turn into sliding in someone’s DMs saying, “Hey I’m sorry if this is weird, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful!” or the proper way to ask a girl out was by sending her a Snapchat? Or better yet, meeting the love of your life on Tinder?
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I honestly feel like almost everything about relationships is based around our social media these days. I mean you can’t be officially together unless it's posted on Facebook right? Today, you’re either talking to someone, in a relationship, or single. We hide behind our screens thinking we are doing the right thing by complimenting people or by asking them out. It seems smooth at first, and every girl loves that feeling of being swept off of her feet by some mystery man. But in all truthfulness, it is completely wrong. Our generation is scared of commitment and confrontation. It’s almost like no one is actually dating around anymore. Nobody commits to each other, but once another girl pops up on a Snapchat story or some guy is tagged in her Instagram photo, all hell breaks loose. What happened to catching the eye of that cute girl reading a book in Starbucks and instantly falling for the smile she shares back? What about talking to the hot football player who sits in front of you in Pre-Calculus? He may never know you exist until you say something to him, and let me tell you, a like on Instagram isn’t going to earn you a movie date next week.
Remember when we were younger and we asked our parents for permission about everything including dating? If they said no to going out with the junior boy, then you weren't allowed to. There's also the talks we'd have with our parents about what to look for in a quality guy. I'd have checklists stuck in my head on certain standards to look for. Looking back on it now, I actually am appreciative of everything they did when it came to boys and dating because all of those long conversations and lectures set me up for the real world.
But now here we are, talking to random strangers on Tinder, setting up a day to watch a marathon on Netflix. And we all now what comes after Netflix...Where did pacing ourselves and talking face-to-face go wrong?
I had my first and sadly last real relationship when I was 16. We met our freshman year of high school in health class. We kept things friendly and nonchalant until our sophomore year of high school when it was time to take a step further into our relationship. We were best friends already, so it didn't take much. On school days, we'd see each other in class and in the halls. Then on weekends, we'd go out on cute little dates to the movies or to the newest restaurant in town to get dinner. It was so easy to just talk and share everything over a Margherita pizza from Boston's rather than texting each other on the phone. Our relationship was so simple and fun, and we always took our time never rushing anything. Pacing ourselves and sticking together is honestly the reason why we stayed together for so long.
I crave that idea of dating again. The kind of dating you see in the movies, read in books, or hear stories about from your parents. The grab a coffee, sit in the back of a pickup looking at stars, sneaking into a horror movie kind of dating. Hopefully, our generation will realize everything we have been missing out on. Maybe one day we can find the courage to go talk to our crush and ask them one a date. Maybe one day we can build relationships out of friendships again. Maybe one day we can fight for something real.
