Dear Midwestern Weather,

A normal individual would open their letter by asking the recipient how they are doing and express some interest in their family and whatnot. However, I am not a normal individual, and you are not a normal recipient. Frankly, I am concerned for your well being for a variety of reasons and I know that thousand of other individuals are in the same position I am in at this moment. It has come to my attention that you're not doing well, and I understand that it happens to most people at this point in time during the year. However, the fact that you haven't been doing well for the past five or so months is frustrating and borderline annoying. You need to get yourself together. If you don't believe that you're currently a hot mess, I have detailed out some proof of your most notable meltdowns.

You're more indecisive than my own self when I'm standing in line at Taco Bell. Sometimes, I want three chicken tacos with cheese and other times, I want a quesadilla with a side of chips and the most amazing cup of processed cheese I have ever had. Like most people, I'm able to decide what I want by the time I reach the register and even if I realize I should've ordered the other meal, I'm still content with the fact that I bought food. You, my friend, do not seem to understand what it means to reach a state of "content." Every morning, I open up the weather application on my cell phone to check the forecast for the day. I cry a little when I see that it's supposed to be less than thirty degrees, but I accept it. I get ready, put on my heavy winter jacket, and leave my dorm for the day. By noon, I'm drenched in sweat because you decided to play a joke on society and turn up the temperature a few dozen degrees. Midwestern weather - learn to find your "front of the line and at the register" moment. When I open the application in the morning, I don't expect to see any change. Make that your final point in deciding what the weather is for the day. Is that so much to ask for?

Sometimes, you seem more emotional than a girl experiencing her monthly cycle. At the beginning of the week, it's sunny and the high for the day is seventy-five degrees. Before we know it, it's Wednesday and the forecast calls for snow. Just because your boyfriend won't drop off a box of chocolates and your favorite Nicholas Sparks' movie doesn't mean you have to make out state feel like the inside of a meat locker. Though my younger brother wouldn't mind living out the rest of his life as a giant flank steak doesn't mean I want to live out my life as a giant flank steak. What I'm trying to say is that we all go through a variety of emotions when we are dealing with painful situations in our lives. Some just know how to cope with it better than others. If you want, I will even offer to pay for your first session of an anger management class. I just want you to find help.

I think the worst trait you hold is that you're can be so easily missed. This isn't a bad thing and it's something that I have to change within myself. It's me, not you. When it's the dead of winter, I miss the warmth you provide in the late spring. When it's the middle of summer, I miss the crisp air brushing through my hair in late autumn. I wish you were more consistent. I'm not asking for snow every day because honestly, that would suck. That would suck a lot more than calculus. I just wish I didn't have to wake up in fear of not knowing what the weather was going to do that day. If you could be warm for a few days and then slowly fade back to a temperature above freezing, every individual living in the middle region of this country would be pleased.

I can't say I don't love you. I do, and I am thankful for the days that you grant me a cool breeze while I run underneath the burning sunlight and the days where you provide so much snow that school has to be canceled. However, that doesn't mean I don't hate you any other day. I think if you learned to control yourself more, you'd be less of a concern to others. I'm not asking you to turn yourself into an identical replica of your cousin (shoutout to Southwestern Weather), but I'm asking you to change a little. If you do, I think your friends down here on Earth would be a lot happier.

Sincerely,

An Iowa Girl Tired of the Weather