*trigger warning*

Dear Kevin Hart,

This past September you visited Gonzaga as a part of your "What Now" tour. I was excited to see you because you have a fantastic reputation. Mostly, you lived up to my expectations. I laughed quite a bit and your material was unique and quirky. You're a funny person.

Unfortunately, I can no longer respect you as a comedian. At one point in your show, you mentioned that the Batman in your son's room looked like a rapist. Later on, you joked you wished Batman had raped your son. By joking about rape, you have failed every victim of sexual assault.

I understand that you don't actually think Batman is a rapist and you don't actually want your son to be raped. I understand it was a joke. But it wasn't just a joke. "Humor is subjective, but is that subjective?...Rape is many things—humiliating, degrading, physically and emotionally painful, exhausting, irritating, and sometimes, it is even banal. It is rarely funny for most women," says Roxane Gay in her book "Bad Feminist."

I have been holding this inside for six months now. Many people who read this article, maybe you even, will just dismiss me as a feminist with no sense of humor. I can assure you, I do have a sense of humor. I laugh at many things. Rape isn't one of them.

By remaining silent, I have been saying that I condone your actions. By remaining silent, I have been saying that I think rape is funny. No more. I refuse to be complicit in this misogyny.

"We live in a culture that claims to abhor rape yet adores jokes about the prisoner who 'drops the soap,' the trans woman who discloses to a date that she has a penis and gets punished for it, the altar boy who follows a priest into a back room," says Kate Harding in her book "Asking for It."

According to a study published by the CDC, 19.3 percent of women and 1.7 percent of men in the United States have been raped. Furthermore, 43.9 percent of women and 23.4 percent of men have experienced other forms of sexual assault. These numbers increase significantly among marginalized populations.

Male victims of rape deserve to be taken seriously. They encounter many problems in a society that doesn't believe they can be raped. This is a society that believes it would be impossible for a woman to overpower a man, a society where guys joke that they "raped" someone in a game, a society where they aren't believed because men are seen as always wanting "it." A Slate article by Hanna Rosin delves more into this topic. In addition, prison rape is a massive problem in this country and sadly, it's joked about. Hollywood treats prison rape as the punchline for a joke. Movies like "Get Hard," which you starred in, fall into this paradigm. Scott Meslow writes about this in an article here.

Acknowledging male rape victims is important, but men aren't affected by rape culture in quite the same way women are. We have a constant weight upon our backs to prevent rape and if it happens, it was our fault for not doing enough to prevent it. Products like nail polish that changes color when exposed to date-rape drugs send a harmful message about our role in prevention. "Anyone can be raped, but men aren't conditioned to live in terror of it, nor are they constantly warned that their clothing, travel choices, alcohol consumption, and expressions of sexuality are likely to bring violations upon them," says Harding.

We live in a society where most victims are afraid to report their rape because they feel they won't be believed, and if they are believed, the justice system does almost nothing for them. Most perpetrators will never be charged, let alone actually convicted.

It's this environment that makes rape especially unfunny. "Rape humor is designed to remind women that they are still not quite equal," says Gay. Rape jokes invalidate a survivor's experience. Rape jokes tells rapists that rape is funny, no big deal, and acceptable. It gives them reassurance that they will not face consequences. When you joke about sexual violence, you are directly contributing to this culture that is so permissive and dismissive towards sexual assault.

I want to clarify something. I don't believe that joking about rape is never OK. In a Jezebel article, Lindy West eloquently says, "The world is full of terrible things, including rape, and it is okay to joke about them. But the best comics use their art to call bullshit on those terrible parts of life and make them better, not worse." If a joke serves to take down a power structure while raising up the powerless, well then, that's good comedy. It depends on who or what the joke is making fun of. "Satire that shines a light on rape culture, or wisecracks that release some of the tension women live with all the time, are not making fun of survivors," Harding says.

I believe in free speech, although I don't agree with everything said. The same structure that allows me to write this, allows you to make whatever comedic choices you would like. But we must recognize that our words and actions have consequences.

I believe that as a public figure, you have a certain responsibility to use your influence positively. A college campus is not the place for a public figure to joke about rape. Sexual assault on campuses around the country is an enormous problem right now. The message from administration at many campuses is that rapists will not be punished. College students need to hear messages that have a negative attitude towards sexual assault, not messages that encourage it.

Many don't agree with me. They say, "what did you expect?" and that we were warned about the show being crude. To me, crude means lewd jokes, bathroom jokes and inappropriate humor. It doesn't mean making fun of rape victims.

You aren't the problem. Your actions and words simply reflect our culture. Gay says, "In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness— one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman's worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored."

I'm asking you to be more mindful with your humor and take more care when writing your jokes. If you come back to Gonzaga in the future, I'd love to see your show—if the rape jokes are gone.