Dear Kate (or Katie-Poo as you've so lovingly entered yourself into my contacts as),
You've only just entered your formative teenage years, so you've still got a ways to go. Life is hard, and it only gets harder, but it also gets so much better. You're going to have a lot of reality checks, and those are going to be harsh, but you're going to be able to tell how far you've come and how much you've changed by the end of it. It’s a fun and frustrating time. I’ve drawn on my own teenage experience to give you some advice to help you get through those hard days and to make the good days better.
Your friends now might not be your friends by the end of high school, and that’s OK. You’re all going to grow in your own ways and find your own paths and sometimes those paths won’t be parallel to each other. Keep hold of those true friends that are willing to go through it all with you, but don’t get caught up in keeping superficial friendships just for the sake of having “friends.”
Drama will happen. It’s really hard to avoid it. And it will suck. But if someone repeatedly brings negative drama into your life, forget about them. You don’t need that. And don’t be the person creating drama either.
Hear people, even if you think they don’t have anything worthwhile to say.
Treat people with respect, it won’t always be returned to you. Being mean won’t get you anywhere. Being nice never hurt anyone.
That doesn’t mean let people walk over you, though. Be nice, but don’t be submissive. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.
Mom and Dad are really smart people, and they’re pretty much right about a lot of stuff. Trust them, but don’t always obey them. Go to a haunted house behind their backs, get caught and then deal with the consequences. I promise you’ll be a better person and daughter afterwards.
Don’t ever be ashamed of the music you listen to. Blast your “guilty pleasure” playlist in the car with all your friends and tell them they can walk if they don’t like it.
Similarly to the above, don’t pretend you like trap music just to fit in with what everyone else likes. It’s just bad.
Question your superiors. They don’t actually know everything and they should respect you enough to admit that.
Never count calories. They don’t matter. “Low calorie” doesn’t equal healthy. Treat your body right by feeding it what it really needs, and yeah, sometimes that is a piece of chocolate cake.
Put yourself before homework. Our education system is increasingly more stressful now than it ever has been, and students have really suffered emotionally because of it. One bad grade for the sake of your mental health is an important sacrifice you may need to make.
Never get into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. The media is going to try to tell you, and all girls ages 13 and up, that you can’t be happy without a boyfriend. This is not true. Try out a few different people here and there. But this is the time to figure out what you like and who you are. It’s not the time to be pining after another human being.
Relish the hours you’re at home alone. Get a Bluetooth speaker and play your music as loud as you please while you dance around in your underwear trying on different hats and scarves. (Honestly one of my favorite past times.)
Get out of our hometown every now and then. Drive out to state parks to hike and picnic and see other parts of Ohio. There’s so much more than our little “Bexley bubble.”
Don’t be afraid to talk to Mom and Dad when you need help. We have really cool parents. Which I know is hard to see right now. Even if we mess up a lot, they always have our best interests at heart and they’ll do everything they have to in order to help you out.
I know Emmy is really busy, but enjoy the quick dinners and the drives to Young Womens with her while you can. She’s going to be out of the house soon too.
Don’t play too much "Mario Bros" without me. That’s not really advice for your sake. I just miss playing it with you. And what am I going to do if I come back and you’ve already passed all the levels?
I tell you all this because you’ve actually kind of grown on me, and not only do I love you, but I also even like you now. I want to do what I can to help you enjoy the trying teenage years, even if I can’t be right there with you. I’m only a phone call away if you ever need me.
Lots of Love,
Di
