To My Husband

To My Husband

What I've learned from four years of marriage.
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Dear husband,

Our four year wedding anniversary is coming up in a matter of days and all I’ve been thinking about is how blessed we are. We have come a long way in the past four years, growing as a couple, growing as parents and even growing as individuals. These four years have been some of the best years of my life. I’m sure that the years to follow are going to be just as great and full of many life lessons to learn. I’ve learned a lot in these four years, but here are my favorite lessons so far.

One of the first things I’ve learned is that time doesn’t change everything. I know, it’s one of those sayings that literally every influential person in your life says that give it time, sleep on it because tomorrow is a different day. Today, even four years later, you can give me butterflies by just looking at me in a certain way from across the room. Your goofy grin can melt away all my fears, calm all my storms. It’s like my soul knows we need to be together and my psyche senses right when I need you the most. Call me crazy, but this is love. Time will never change that. If anything, time will make me love you more, but never love you less.

Another thing that our marriage taught me pretty quick is that kids make everything more hectic, but definitely more interesting. In all honesty, I didn’t picture us having kids within a year of being married. I really didn’t see us having two kids within two years of being married. I’ve heard that the first year of marriage is hard, but I’ve never heard of how hard the first four years is with two kids, three and under. Our schedules basically revolve around making sure the girls survive day to day life. Let’s face it, I’m not the most graceful person and you’re pretty head strong, so naturally our girls struggle just to finish whatever task they start. The older the girls get, the more hectic our days will be. I can’t wait to see where these girls take us and I’m so happy you’re the one I get to enjoy this with.

A fairly recent lesson is that spontaneity is the key to a happy, loving marriage. Even in the midst of our hectic daily lives and constant changes, we tend to get very complacent with our life. We start going through the motions of saying I love you and doing the daily routines of being husband and wife. It happens to everyone, even great couples, but it happens to us every few weeks. While I do love you, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes it feels like the phrase “I love you” is just a phrase with no meaning. We say it at the end of every phone conversation, every morning when you leave for work and every night before we fall asleep. The only times this phrase feels like it has emotion behind it is when we say it outside of the regular expected times. When you randomly send me an “I love you” text in the middle of the day, I remember that we do love each other, and that “love” is more than just a four letter word.

Lastly, the most important lesson of all is that true love can conquer all. Cliché and corny, I know, but in all seriousness, I truly believe it can. We have been through many ups and downs in the four years we have been married. We’ve relocated, bought a house, had two kids, and struggled with simply communicating with one another. Every time we’ve ever had an issue, we’ve broken it down for each other and made our way through it. We have overcome every curve ball thrown at us. Even if it took a while, we have still managed to come through as the same happily married couple who started out on this wonderful journey officially four years ago.

Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for leading the way and showing me some of the greatest things in life. Thank you being patient with me when I go into my moods. Thank you for being the best daddy to our girls. Thank you for being the greatest husband I could ever ask for. Thank you for simply being you. It takes two to make a marriage work, and thank you for going above and beyond to make ours work. I love you now, tomorrow and for the rest of forever. Happy anniversary.

Cover Image Credit: Monica Barrett

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I'm An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist

Honestly, I'd rather be caught dead than caught calling myself a modern-day feminist.
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"A man told me to have a good day... I'm triggered." How ludicrous does that sound? Tune in because that is the extent of modern day feminism.

Sure, I think boys are stupid and that I'm probably better than 90% of the male population, but that doesn't make me a modern-day feminist. Now I believe that woman should stand up for themselves, and Golding's quote: "I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been," is by far one of my favorite quotes... but modern day feminism is not something I want to be associated with.

I'm all for "anything you can do I can do better," and "We can do it!" but realistically speaking in some situations, that isn't feasible. As an 18-year-old woman who works out regularly, and is stronger than the average female, I couldn't carry a 190-pound man back to a safe zone after he was shot on the front line of a war even if I tried. It is not anatomically possible for a grown woman to be as strong as a fully developed male.

Reality check: Men and women are not equal.

They are not physically equal, they are not mentally equal. Modern-day feminism is equality between the two genders, but corrupt and on steroids. I support what feminism used to be. I support women who work hard and have goals and ambition... not girls who hate men and stomp around with no shirts on to piss off the public. Feminism has developed into a polluted teaching that young men and women are plunging into.

We are built dissimilarly.

The human brain is literally an organ that is sex oriented. There is a cognitive difference, that singlehandedly destroys gender equality.

I will not spend my time running a revolution against anyone who likes Donald Trump. I am not going to binge watch Trump's twitter in an effort to start some leftist gob of drama. I refuse to be part of this head hunt to attack all Republicans on the newest Instagram post made about how feminism is stupid. I do not hate men, and society would crash and burn without the successful men and women who work together to create what we call the United States of America.

Why, you ask? Why are the 15-25 year olds of our society clinging to feminism? They are hopping on the rapidly growing bandwagon where all the hipsters, feminists and Trump haters reside. It's "cool" to hate Donald Trump. Twitter is a world of liberalism, hatred and fake love towards all. Social media is where this generation is living — and modern-day feminism brews there.

We need to keep separation in the household within roles.

We must raise our children to do what they are best at rather than trying to do something they are incapable of just to prove an irrelevant point.

Women must stand up for what they believe in and be strong in their shoes, while not getting so caught up in what your modern day feminist says she thinks is right.

We cannot let this briskly changing society sway us away from what is going to keep the world working precisely.

Cover Image Credit: Macey Joe Mullins

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To Fix Taxes, We Have To Rethink 'Wealthy'

"Wealthy" doesn't mean the same for everyone.

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When discussing taxes today, so many politicians are quick to rush to the adage "tax the rich." Bernie Sanders has called for the rich to be taxed higher to pay for Medicare for All. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has called for a 70% tax on the wealthy.

However, all of these proposals are missing a key thing: a true definition of rich.

When thinking about what counts as rich, it is important to distinguish between the "working wealthy" and the "investment wealthy."

The working wealthy are the people in society that get paid highly because they have a high skill set and provide an extremely valuable service that they deserve just compensation for. This class is made up of professionals like lawyers, doctors, and CEOs. In addition, the working wealthy are characterized by another crucial aspect: over a long term calculation of their earned income over time, they don't come out as prosperous as their annual incomes would seem to suggest. This is because this set of the wealthy has to plunge into student debt for degrees that take years to acquire. These jobs generally also require a huge amount of time invested in lower-paying positions, apprenticeships, and internships before the big-money starts coming in.

On the other hand, the investment wealthy is completely different. These are the people that merely sit back and manipulate money without truly contributing to anything in society. A vast majority of this class is born into money and they use investments into stocks and bonds as well as tax loopholes to generate their money without actually contributing much to society as a whole.

What makes the investment wealthy so different from the working wealthy is their ability to use manipulative techniques to avoid paying taxes. While the working wealthy are rich, they do not have AS many resources or connections to manipulate tax laws the way that the investment wealthy can. The investment wealthy has access to overseas banking accounts to wash money though. The investment wealthy can afford lawyers to comb over tax laws and find loopholes for ridiculous prices. This is tax evasion that the working wealthy simply does not have access to.

That is why it is so incredibly important to make sure that we distinguish between the two when discussing tax policy. When we use blanket statements like "tax the rich," we forget the real reasons that the investment wealthy are able to pay such low taxes now. Imposing a larger marginal tax rate will only give them more incentive to move around taxes while squeezing the working wealthy even more.

Because of this, in our taxation discourse, we need to focus first on making sure people pay their taxes, to begin with. Things like a tax of Wall Street speculation, capital gains taxes, a closing of loopholes, and a simplification of the tax code. These things will have a marked improvement in making sure that the investment wealthy actually pays the taxes we already expect of them now. If we stick to the same message, the only thing we will be changing is the rate that the uber-wealthy are avoiding.

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