Recently, my life has gone through so much change. Between college, working a work-study job, and having a social life, I've been under so much pressure. But then, at 11:54 last Thursday night, January 21st, my life hit possibly the hardest change yet. I'll spare you all the details, but my relationship of four years.. ended? Even I don't know what's going on currently. But whatever it is, I'm definitely on the broken side of the fence. That said, I have to write out my feelings so they're known.. because that's what people do, right? Whether this is for you guys or for myself kind of remains to be seen.
So, here we go,
Dearest Heartbroken,
This is not the end. I know it feels like it, but believe me it isn't. Your heart is broken, that's for sure. But you wanna know the amazing thing about human hearts? They are literally the only thing in this world that can break and then fix themselves into something stronger. The next few days, weeks, or hell, even months might be the hardest of your life. And I know that every day feels like an eternity, time stretches seconds into minutes and days into lifetimes, but you have to stick it out. There is more love around you than you know. Whoever they were, and for whatever reason that they broke your heart, they are not the only person who loves you. The sooner you realize this is the sooner things start getting better. I'm not saying that once you realize this you'll be happy, because I've done so and happiness is very few and far between. But at least you can carry a temporary happiness with you for a while when you're surrounded by your friends and family.
This all being said, don't hide your feelings under the mask of happiness. Don't pretend your way through the days, because that's not healthy. If you're not feeling well, mentally or physically, you have to admit it to yourself. Every day I wake up and ask myself how I feel, because honestly the hardest times for you are the mornings and nights. And when I answer that question, "How am I this morning," with an honest answer, you realize your own brokenness. And when you do so, you can understand why it all feels that way. And of course, you're going to hate feeling that way. You're going to hate every second of feeling unhappy and broken. All you can do is look forward and hope for the best, and hope that best brings you up and out of that happiness... because it will, I promise.
Take things day by day. Don't rush ahead and try to do something stupid. Rushing is typically what leads to most stupid things anyways. Do things day by day. Do things depending on how you feel about that day. Take your time, give yourself and your ex-other half space, because everyone needs that after a while. Y'know the advice "don't talk to them," and how stupid it may sound? Yeah, please don't do that. Don't do it again, because when you do, no matter if you want a civil conversation, things roll out worse than you expected.
So, dearest heartbroken, all I can say to wrap this up is this: stay strong, take things by day, and keep your chin up. Everything passes, time heals all wounds, yadda yadda yadda....
With love no matter who you are,
Austyn Konarcik
And I hope you all have a wonderful day, night, whatever time it is!
