Dear Graduation Anxiety,
From the day you were born four years ago to your last breath this past Friday, I hesitantly welcomed you into my life and did my best to cope with your existence. Now that you specifically are no longer relevant in my life, I can honestly say how I feel about you.
You’ve driven me crazy.
Four years ago my expectations revolved around you. “How amazing and wonderful college be,” I excitingly asked myself. “It will be great,” says you, “but don’t mess this up!”
Three years ago I become confused. I don’t know why you’re so against my sophomore years of school, always causing awkward and embarrassing moments that weren’t necessary. Always causing me emotional pain with relationships and special bonds with friends that turned out not to be so special. What gives?! I guess you were telling me that some people were not meant to be in my life forever.
Two years ago, out of nowhere, a spark of inspiration, tagged with a bit of imagination and originality, triggered my talent of make-up art. I became daring, trying new techniques with new types of make-up, stretching my limits, and stepping out of my comfort zone. And how did you respond? “Wow! Your art is so amazing! But those make-up artists you follow on Instagram are more experienced than you. They actually know make-up. They actually know what they’re doing.”
One year ago your presence was inevitable. You stuck around when I searched for jobs, when I went to speak with my advisor about if I will be able to graduate on time, when I knew I made a mistake and didn’t want anyone to know about it. As many times I’ve tried to avoid you, I couldn’t do anything about it. Once you entered my life, you just took off.
But now that you’ve grown to your full potential, I want to thank you. I want you to know how much you’ve helped me grow as a person. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to persevere when an essay was written during an all nighter. You’ve allowed me to lose and regain confidence in myself, teaching me that at my lowest of lows, I will always have the strength to rebuild that confidence.
Now that I’m free of tuition burdens, a lack of quality food, and relying on a GPA number that determines how smart I am, I am able to really focus on me and my personal goals during the next chapter of my life.
Even though that it’s time for me to move on, there will always be a part of you inside of me, pushing me to go a little further, to go the distance. There will be a part of you that will keep me on my toes. You may have drove me up the wall and down again, but you’ve helped me in a way nothing else can and with that, I say thanks.
So long.
~Me
