For The Girl Who's Always Homesick, You're Not Alone

For The Girl Who's Always Homesick, You're Not Alone

An open letter to that girl that, like me, is always homesick.

Dear girl who is always homesick,

I understand how you feel, I am always homesick too!

I grew up being extremely close to everyone in my family and 24 hours changed that. I will always miss the people back home, the smell of dinner in the kitchen and the sound of my dogs barking. I will miss parts of home forever. I will not miss having the same melancholy days over and over again. I will not miss seeing the same faces every day at school. I will miss my family. I will miss my dogs. I will miss my bed.

I am always homesick.

Being homesick doesn't mean that I don't love life in college because I do! I love college, my new friends, my sorority, my big, and the ice cream in Garst! I love the freedom I have and the fountain on campus. I love the fact I can leave and come back to my dorm whenever I want. I love that my classes end early and that there is always something to do! I love Missouri State! I love the Bears!

But, I am always homesick.

A part of me will always be in my hometown, apart of my heart is in every place my siblings and parents are. With so many pieces of my heart in other places, it's ok to say that my heart isn't whole so I am homesick. And that is ok! Because I know I have a home here at Missouri State, I have a home in Dallas, I have a home in Arkansas, and I have a home at my home.

You are and will always be homesick when you have so many different homes to visit and be a part of. And being homesick is ok because it doesn't mean you aren't having fun and loving life, it just means that parts of you can't be here because they are too busy making sure you stay connected to all your other homes.

I will cry every time I leave home, I will talk about transferring. I will not mean it but I will in those time of pain I will say anything that I think will make me feel better! All in all, I will cry a lot. And that's ok.


A girl who gets it

Cover Image Credit: lonly wallpapers

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An Open Letter To The Future Me

I want to say that I know you, but really, I don’t think that I do.

Dear Future Self,

I’m laughing as I write this -- I remember writing a similar letter in the 5th grade and my teacher keeping it until the end of the year. Here I am, writing a similar letter.

Who knows when I will read it again: next year, in five years, or perhaps in ten years?

Well, here I am; “past” you. The decisions that I am making today, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to me, are helping to shape you. I’m succeeding and doing great things, but I am also messing up and and facing hardships. It’s life; it’s our life.

You spent your childhood wanting time to slow down, but also itching to reach those “milestones” in life -- the double digits of 10, sweet 16, a totally legitimate 18-year-old adult, 21 and fun, etc. etc. You’ve felt both old and wise, but also young and insignificant.

Here’s something I want you to take to heart and to listen to -- slow down.

You move way too fast. Your mind is always in the future, worrying about class tomorrow or getting accepted into veterinary school next year.

Most of the time, you are not living in the moment, which is not a way to live. Slow down and enjoy what is happening when it is happening.

You have time, so stop stressing so much.

Make more time to go out with friends, to go on dates with your boyfriend, to have movie nights with your family (heck, go call your Mom, Dad, and sister right now! Let them know how much you love them, appreciate them, and need them.).

Make more time to to wish on dandelions, talk to strangers in coffee shops, and listen to new music for hours on end.

Don’t feel bad if you don’t finish what you think you’re supposed to because, chances are, you did what you were actually meant to do.

Don’t lose your relationship with God.

No matter how busy everyday life gets, make time to talk to God.

Make time to thank Him for all that He has down for you.

Make time to tell Him about your life and to open your heart about what you want.

Go to Church when you can and read your Bible verse every night.

It will keep you sane; He will keep you sane.

I know sometimes your anxiety is going to get bad; sometimes, it will truly be unbearable. But, here is the thing -- it will pass. It will. Just keep pushing another day, just one more day. Facetime Mom or color a picture or go listen to “C’mon” on repeat on your phone. The hot moments will end and cool moments will replace them.

No matter when you may think, the best is not behind you. Life is only going to continue to grow and get better.


Your 21-year-old self

Cover Image Credit: Amanda Topolski

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Dear Knoxville,

This girl misses you.

I'll admit upfront that I wanted to leave you ASAP post-high school, and I took you for granted. It's not surprising since you were all I really knew, and I wanted to explore outside of what I knew. I wanted to leave as soon as I could, and I jumped on opportunities to stay away. Now I find myself missing you more than not.

My senior year of high school I could not wait to get out of the "Knoxville bubble." I felt like I was stuck and wanted to leave before I was chained to a city I felt was mundane. After living in one spot for all my life, I was eager for a new experience and craving independence. This influenced my decision to go to college out of state, and I didn't look back. However, I wasn't homesick much my first year of college, and I told myself I would never move back to Tennessee after I graduated.

I had always been told that East Tennessee was one of the most beautiful areas to live and that I was lucky to live there. I never believed that until recently, because as of recently I have been suffering homesickness and it, frankly, sucks. I miss going to the mountains, I miss my family, and I miss the culture. More than anything I miss familiarity, and as Dayton becomes another home to me, it will never beat Knoxville in my book.

Now, in my second semester of sophomore year, I have found myself planning when I come back home as soon as I leave. My time at college now revolves around the question of: "When will I get to come back home?" It's frustrating as life continues while I am gone, and every time I return home so much has changed.

I'm afraid of the day that I'll come back and not recognize you or the places I grew up knowing. I accept change, and know it is for the best, but I rely on you to remain my home-base which I can return to when everywhere else seems no good.

I don't know if I'll come back to Knoxville once I have finished school, but it isn't out of the question. Not anymore. However, wherever I end up, I know I will always come back because part of me will always miss you. I will always come back to you, because this city raised me and formed the woman I am today. So, Knoxville, I'll see you soon.



Cover Image Credit: Tim McCready

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