Dear My Future Child,
I'm not sure when you will be here. Hopefully not too soon. I'm not ready for you yet, but when I am, there are some things I think you should know and some promises I intend to keep. My parents raised me well. They're the reasons I've gotten such incredible compliments on my caring personality and generous heart. They helped me become who I am today and I've learned to love myself. It's hard to love yourself in this world, but I'm going to help you learn to love yourself too.
When you come into this world, I promise to hold onto you tight. I promise to always be here for you when you need someone. I want to be your mother and your best friend. I promise I will never leave your side. You will never not have a shoulder to lean on. I want you to know that things are going to be very, very hard. I would be lying to you if I said you were going to live a flawless life. Because this is a life with a bunch of unexpected twists and turns. Lucky for us, twists and turns can be turned into dance. With me, you will always find light. The world is here to test you. The world will chew you up and spit you out, but you will only be stronger, I promise you. I'm going to tell you a little secret.
When I was 17, I hated myself. I got denied from my potential school, I got fired from my first job, the boy I really gave my all to pushed me down more every time I tried to get back up... I got into my first car accident and I was doing terrible in my classes. My friends were great to me as was my family, and as cliche as it sounds, music started to save me. Then, people started making fun of me for that too -- for my passion. The one thing I found light in; a place of serenity. I gave up on everything, especially myself. I gave up so much, I wanted to feel something. I started to self-harm. And let me tell you something. It wasn't for attention. It wasn't because I wanted to die. It wasn't for any of those reasons people are so quick to assume. It was because I felt so bad about myself -- so numb -- I'd do anything to feel something.
Seventeen. That was four years ago. Do you want to know where I am now? I'm a senior in college pursuing my dream of becoming a creative writing professor. I'm singing every single day and playing music as much as I can. I've done talent shows and performing arts shows. I've had two more jobs and at my most recent one, I met incredible people who are now my forever friends. I have not done any harm to my body since four years ago and nothing is going to change that. Because the truth is, that doesn't change anything. It just makes you weak. This life is tough. But this life is just a small insignificant test, that you can definitely, definitely pass.
When the day comes where I get to meet you, I'm going to make sure you live the happiest life. I'm going to teach you to be kind to everyone you meet. I'm going to let you brave the world and search for your passion, and when you find it, I will wholeheartedly support you because you can do anything. If there's one thing I can really promise you, it's just that: you can do anything. Please don't let anyone, especially yourself, ever stop you.
Love,
Your Future Mother
