Dear Extroverts,
As an introvert, I think it is time that you understand a few things about us introverts.
Just to be clear, we don't hate you. We just like being quiet and keeping to ourselves. When we decline your invitation for that party you were totally "psyched" about, it's not personal. We'd just rather spend the night in reading a book or watching TV. We like being alone, but that doesn't make us sad or depressed. In fact, we are happier when we aren't surrounded by groups of people we don't really know. I'll say it again, we enjoy being alone. Sure, every once in awhile we like to go out, but it's usually because an extrovert made us.
I hate crowds. Just as a general rule, I would rather not be in a place where there are more people I don't know than there are people that I do know. Once that ratio tips, once there are more strangers in a room than friends, I shut up. It's instinct. But I do like being in small groups. I know, it can get confusing. I can handle being in groups but only in small, small doses. It's draining to be around people all the time. As a personal rule, for every hour I spend out, I spend two hours in my own company.
Don't call me anti-social. Seriously. It takes me a while to get comfortable with people, but that doesn't mean I hate them. I just can't meet someone and instantly feel at ease around them. I need to warm up to you. I need to get to know you first before I allow you to get to know me. I am not a "people person." The fact that I'm talking to you at all is kind of a big deal. That being said, when I get to know you and finally feel comfortable around you, that's when a true friendship starts to form, and that is something that I don't take for granted.
Small talk sucks. It's awkward and we hate it. Talk to me about your favorite book or that really great movie you saw last week. Hell, I'll even talk to you about your great-aunt's cat that only has one eye. Just please, anything but small talk. I don't care that the weather is great or that the Browns disappointed you (again). As introverts, we like deep, meaningful conversation and not chit chat that means absolutely nothing to us.
We are super observant. It's not some sort of super power or anything. It's just that while you're busy talking, we are busy listening, and watching. It's what we do best. We are great listeners and we pay attention to the little details. While extroverts listen to keep the conversation going, we listen to understand. It allows us to really get to know and understand you as a person, and this helps us open up to you.
Overall, we aren't that hard to understand. If you keep these things in mind, you'll get along great with us.
Sincerely,
(most) introverts
