Dear Deceased Friend,

We weren't very close, but we've known each other for about four years. I really liked you and really wanted us to date, but when you told me you did drugs, I stepped back, when I should have stepped forward. Our talks were always kind of short and mostly on Facebook Messenger. You were always so kind and never asked for more than I was willing to give. I was a stupid freshman when we started chatting and I didn't talk to you again until I was a junior.

I would ask you about your drug addiction and once you said you didn't even remember me. The next you did. One of our last conversations were about how drugs had ruined the lives of the people you loved. They even took your friends' lives. You were determined on quitting, which I was happy to support. You thanked me for always being so nice to you, even though I feel I could have done better.

Ever since your passing, I constantly find myself thinking, "What if?"

"What if I had given you a chance my freshman year?"

"What if I had said yes to hanging out on Halloween instead of going somewhere else?"

"What if I continued to talk to you about your sobriety and keep you on the right path?"

I know that what you did was your choice, I just wish you wouldn't have made it. I know that we weren't super close or had even met in person, but I still cared about you.

I will think about you every day for a while. Today was the hardest, because your cause of death confirmed with my thoughts. I called your phone only to be greeted by your happy-go-lucky voice saying that you were probably sleeping; and man, were you right.

Even though I'm hurt that I lost you, I know that there are a ton of more friends and family that are hurting even worse than I am and I console all of you with this letter.

"Death is peaceful, easy. Life is hard." -Stephenie Meyer