Dear Dad, Thank You

Dear Dad, Thank You

The more you grow up the more I realize how there is no man better than my dad. I don't mean to get emotional here, but whoops.

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Let me start out by saying, me and my dad didn't always get along. We butted heads a lot, he didn't agree with me all the time and I definitely didn't agree with him, but oh well... you don't agree with everyone in life anyways.

My dad stepped in when my real dad couldn't, as most know, my real dad died of cancer when I was a baby, and my mom remarried my "step"-dad when I was 7, so truly, he's been the only father figure in my life.

So Dad, thank you for everything you have ever done for me, my mom, and my brother. You have always made sure we have had more than enough and for that, I am forever thankful. You've worked long hours, you've had long days, you've stayed up worrying about me just to make sure I got home safe, thank you.

Thank you for still being my shoulder to cry on. Whether it be about a skint knee, a bad grade, a big change, or your favorite (sarcasm should be detected here)... a boy... No matter how many times you tell me "no," (and yes that was a lot) you still let me cry to you when I needed you most. And let me just say, that was a rough time and a different kind of pain.

Thank you for showing me what real love is and never breaking my heart. You are so strong, and I wish to be half the person you and mom are together. You are my superhero. You have loved me from the start and took me in as your own when you sure did not have to. That is true love, thank you. You didn't leave when it got hard, you didn't just give up. You stayed and you fought for it all.

Thank you for loving me more than any man ever will. As daughters grow up, parents, of course, want their daughter to find a great, loving, gentle, in my case level headed, man. Someone who will help her grow and develop into a better stronger person, but dads, love you with all they have. They are your rock. They will support you through it all and have your back every step of the way, even when you make a mistake because let's face it - we are human.

And thank you for always answering the phone when I need it most. It might be because I am having a mental breakdown because something is wrong with my car or I need to know how to cook something, how to fix something, or just simply want to talk. Thank you for always being there for me, and loving me for me.


And especially, thank you for raising me and treating me as your own, I love you.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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6 Lessons My Father Gave Me To Help Me Become A Better Man

Life lessons given to me from a dad who I did not appreciate enough.

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My father grew up in the inner city of Chicago. The Austin Neighborhood. Now if you happen to not be as knowledgeable of Chicago like my father is, the Austin Neighborhood is/was one of the worst neighborhoods in Chicago in terms of violence, and drugs, and other things. He was the first person in his family to go to college and he ended up going to graduate school to become a doctor. These life lessons below are some of the reasons why I am who I am today, and I am very grateful that he has taught me or showed me these things.

1. Always value education 

Given that my father was the first in his family to go to college, this one was sort of a given. He told me to always put education first, as that will help you achieve your dreams. He taught me that it was okay to "love school" when it was socially unacceptable to say those two words together in elementary school. He taught me the value of staying up late at night and studying and working hard to become the best version of yourself.

2. Always respect others

Always respect others, but don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. This one to me was self-explanatory. Always respect people no matter their race, religion, or political orientation, in the end, it does not matter because people are not defined by that one characteristic. They are defined by who they are on the inside, and that takes actually getting to know someone as opposed to just listening to 'hearsay'. He said to do these things, but stand up for what you believe in. "People are never going to agree on everything or believe the same way as you are" he so commonly has said; but, "if you show that you will respect others for who they are, in turn, you will build respect and credibility when you stand up and voice what you believe in". No matter what circumstance you find yourself in, I have made this a life goal and motto.

3. Respect life and live it to the fullest

He said this in both religious and personal way. In a personal way, he wanted me to know that it was okay to have fun and enjoy your life, as long as you respect it and live it to the fullest doing what you love. In a religious sense, he taught me the importance of childhood and life in a religious sense when he told me I was adopted. He said to me, "GOD put you in my family, and I am so proud that he did. Make sure that you are ready when you want to create life and start a family because the human life that you create with another woman is its own individual being created by GOD and deserves only the best."

4. Always remain energetic

Always remain energetic and positive no matter what circumstance is occurring. You can be going through a battle with cancer, or you can be finding true love. Life is always going to have its ups and its downs, and you cannot let that determine how you act or appear before other people. He always told me to "put a smile on my face and appreciate the things that I have, for there are others who wish they could have what you have," and I never truly realized how real this was. He taught me to always stay positive because that positivity and that energy can cause a smile to spread someone else's life. I have worked to always be extremely energetic and positive as this helps to make time go by faster, and it helps you appreciate the way things are and recognize the true power of what we as Americans and what I as a college student have been given.

5. Value hard work 

Value hard work and only give 100% your best effort. This one is self-explanatory. My father did not have any financial platform to jump off of, or an older sibling to lend his or her books to him. He had to work hard and sacrifice in order to become who he is today. He told me that if you keep working at something, and you keep trying and trying and giving it your all eventually whatever you are working towards will go your way; and, that one victory is all the spark you need to shoot off the ground. As Rachel Platten puts it in her hit song, "Fight Song," "I might only have one match, but I can make an explosion." Hard work - to me and my father - is that match, and the explosion is our success.

6. Don't quit

If you see something you want, run after it and don't stop until you have received the 'fruits of your labor'. This one to me I have applied in mainly education and knowledge. If I want to know about a certain thing, I will put my phone down and read about it - yes even sometimes with a physical book from the library. If I want to get something that I cannot afford, I will pull together as much money as possible and work for whatever else I need and then be happy to see that my hard work ended up helping me get what I wanted.

I am very blessed that GOD put me into this family when I was born. I am thankful that my birth mother - wherever and whomever she may be - decided to give me up for adoption so that I can grow up with the wonderful man that my father truly is.

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