Dear Cosmo,

I hate you. Like really, really hate you. My days are constructed around avoiding the gaze of the woman on your cover, and I have very strict rules about reading your material. It's not just you, though. I hate women's magazines in general, but I have a particular disdain for you.

For starters, your covers are all the same. Some wind-blown woman is barely clothed in bright colored garments, mouth usually slightly agape, as if she was caught off guard laughing. Beyond the deeply predictable cover photo, the interview with the famous actress/singer/comedian usually goes about like this:

Interviewer: "You've done some great work over the last several months! Tell me about your lipstick."

Not exactly what I'd be excited to read about. Speaking of things I'm not excited to read about, let's discuss the format of your magazines. Page 11: How to Dress for Your Body Shape. You're Beautiful! Page 12: How to Lose 10 Pounds in 30 Minutes. Page 13: Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake Recipe. Beyond these pages, you are full of makeup tutorials, how to dress like a celebrity, and pitting these celebrities against each other in this week's hottest round of "who wore it better." Why we must force people to declare a winner of an outfit, I don't quite know, but it feels like a scene out a cheesy movie about high school prom. Anyway.

My attempts to resist your glossy covered charm usually works. I don't find myself around women's magazines very often, but what I have been getting roped into lately are your Snapchat stories. These mini listicles often offer pictures or lists of things that you're choosing to nag about for the day. As hard as I try, sometimes I have to read these based solely on the title of the Snap Story. My recent favorites ("favorite" being sarcastic, in case there's any confusion) have been "Things you should definitely stop wearing after college" and "Tiny lies it's okay to tell your boyfriend." First of all, I get that your magazine is about fashion and how to dress well for less, but honestly, nobody is going to give up flip flops. And why would you feel the need to lie to your boyfriend about some of the things in that particular list? "He spent all evening cooking you dinner. Don't mention that you actually hate shrimp." Right. So when I tell him how good his cooking is, I've signed myself up for shrimp scampi every weekend for forever. Wouldn't it just be easier to say "thanks for working so hard on dinner babe. Maybe next time we could try this recipe with chicken." instead of blowing up at him in 5 years because you still hate shrimp? And honestly that's such a minor thing to lie about, that it might actually be easier to just tell the truth. You know, because most relationships are founded on trust and honesty.

Discussions of shrimp aside, the real reason I have issues with your issues is because they are so warped and misleading. As my favorite comedian Iliza Shlesinger once stated about women's magazines: "whatever you're doing is great, but you need to lose like ten pounds. Just make them feel insecure and then sell them some sh*t." I'm paraphrasing, but the message remains. How can you tell women that their bodies are beautiful, but then offer up diet tips on the next page? We get whiplash from your messages. What's more is that all of your messages are so superficial that it's almost laughable. I will admit that you have some legitimate stories that I feel compelled to read from time to time, but the ones that are sharing the most relevant and empowering information are only online. The "21 goofiest faces of the Olympics" is not something that is advancing any thoughts or ideas. Never mind the fact that these athletes are completing feats that you and I have only dreamed about, now you're going to mock the faces they make while coming out of the water or off of the balance beam after breaking a world record? That seems a rude.

I understand your magazine is one that specializes in fashion, sex and relationships, and celebrity style, but your messages need refining. Adding one "plus size" model to your lineup does little to promote body image and inclusivity, and in the year of 2016, you're simply behind the curve. In addition, your messages about relationships are warping the minds of the young girl who are picking up copies of your magazines every week. I know they may not be your target audience, but you can't ignore that they are a part of the demographic that is ingesting your material. Figure out what you want your messages to be, because we're getting loads of mixed signals from you.

See you never,

Katie