When I walked into your doors for the first time, I was jittery, nervous and in a sea of brand new faces hopeful for adventure.

These were going to be the fastest yet best four years of our lives. We were going to meet our lifelong friends, share the most exciting memories, learn about our passions, figure out who we were and explore new places.

The entrance to freshman year was full of so much hope and positivity. Well college, you were not wrong when you said these would be the fastest four years of my life.

Here I sit with one year left and new friendships, experiences and memories galore. You were honest with me about all of those things. But what you didn’t tell me was that these could also be the hardest four years of my life yet.

I miss my family and my hometown so much even though I thought all I wanted to do was to be independent and in a new place.

I have lost relationships that I thought would honestly last for the rest of my life.

I have panicked and cried when I had to study for two exams, write three papers and attend two mandatory sorority events all in the same evening.

I have struggled with managing time and trying to be in a million places at once while sacrificing my self-care and maybe even my deepest friendships while trying to be involved.

I have wrestled with the urge to study abroad around the world or to start to make roots in a new place and stay for a little while.

I have wondered if I was good enough constantly while I compared the "best four years" of my life that never quite added up to the seemingly perfect "best four years" of another student's.

But I have also learned. I have begun to learn who I really am, even though I am constantly picking up broken pieces and trying to see where they fit.

I have realized that your true friends would love to spend Saturday nights playing music, eating cupcakes and watching movies with you instead of always going out and maybe not remembering the time you spent together.

I have learned that I do not have to have my entire life figured out by the time I walk onto the stage and receive my diploma next year.

So college, I appreciate all that you have given me. The opportunities, the friends, the experiences, even the heartbreak. I could never have anticipated the journey you would take me on when I entered your doors with my eager heart the first day of my freshman year.