[I ask that you read this letter with an open mind, an open heart, and the knowledge that this is all written in love.]
Dear Brock Turner,
I’m sorry.
Now, before someone jumps to conclusions and misinterprets what I am writing about, let me just say this: I am not sorry that you are receiving punishment for your actions. I am not sorry that you are feeling discomfort eating your steak dinners. I am not sorry that you are sleeping irregularly. I am not sorry that you are feeling conviction for what you have done. I am not even sorry about the “severe impact” that prison will have on you. What you did was wrong and therefore needs to have consequences.
With that being said, I am sorry that angry people everywhere continue to attempt to take God’s position and judge your value as a person. I am sorry on behalf the Church because I am embarrassed to see how wrongly many people in the Church are attempting to admonish you for your actions. We are supposed to rebuke one another, but we are not supposed to wish death or harm upon another, or speak these hateful things.
I ask that instead of looking upon these angry people with hatred in your heart, try your best to view them with a forgiving and understanding heart. Just as you are trying to defend yourself, they are only trying to defend the girl you wronged. Love them, as God teaches them to show you love in return.
Now, to be clear, I would like to restate that the church should rebuke and admonish others. That is not the issue I have here. My issue is the hateful and un-Christlike way that many members of the church are handling this situation.
Despite what others have said, you are not valueless. You are worth more than the mistakes you have made. You have hope. Our God is a God who rescues, and He takes people from all areas and walks of life and He makes them new.
You do not have to be defined as a rapist for the rest of your life.
This is what you have to do to change that definition of yourself: change. In order to do that, you will have to face some punishments that you do not want to go through. That is simply the way life works. Avoiding punishment will not magically make you no longer a rapist. Rather, you will just be a rapist who didn't see anything wrong enough with their actions to face punishment. I implore you to please understand that your "20 minutes of action" is not only a criminal offense but an act that has severely damaged a woman and her family—you need to accept that in order to change your ways and no longer be defined by it.
If you are truly remorseful, then you need to stop making excuses for your actions.
There is no excuse for rape. That is the brutally honest truth.
Please, stop hiding behind your lawyers, your family and even yourself. If you want to attempt to right your wrongs, blaming the woman you victimized, alcohol or other external sources is not going to help you here. I encourage you to make the mature choice and accept punishment for your wrongdoing because it will make you into a better man.
Did you do something very wrong to that woman? Yes, you did.
Is it possible to undo what you’ve done? No, it isn’t.
Can you change? Yes, you can.
Though it may seem like nobody else is fighting for you right now, I am. I am fighting for you to stop fighting. God gives grace, and I pray you give in and accept it at this time when you’ve never needed it more.
I’m going to be real with you right now when I say sin can be hard to overcome. It’s going to take you a lot of time, effort, and seeking God. But you can do it. You can still have a bright future; you are not hopeless. All you need to do is take the necessary action to change, and I guarantee you will become a better man from it.
Please, accept my apologies and take my advice, Brock Turner. You won’t regret it.
Sincerely,
Amber Dieringer