Dear Body,

We’ve been together for 19 years now and we’ve been through it all together. You held me together when I thought I was going to fall apart, healed me when I was sick, and protected me from all the bumps and bruises I’ve gotten along the way. But, there is one thing that I have never said; so I’m going to say it now.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I hated you when you weren’t the right size. I’m sorry that I starved you some days because I wanted you to be smaller. I’m sorry that I fed you with foods that were going to hurt you even though it tasted so good. I’m sorry that I have inflicted pain on you when you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry that I never accepted you for the way that you were. I’m sorry that I blamed most of my problems on you. I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to realize that I should learn to take better care of you so you can take care of me.

I have learned that it is on me to learn to love my body. It has taken me years to realize this, but I’ve learned you need to learn to love yourself on your own. I know now that no matter what anyone could have told me, I would have never listened. I needed to learn to love my body on my own. I needed to take it into my hands to take care of my body the way that it deserves. I know that I am not happy with the way that my body is today and that is okay. I have learned to love my body the way it is. I want to change it to be something healthier and stronger and I know that it won’t happen overnight. As I go through this process of bettering myself I will remind myself that I can still love my body, but want to change it at the same time.

Lots of people in society struggle with problems similar to mine. It’s hard to take that first step and realizing that it’s time to do something about the problem. It’s a hard battle to fight every single day to remind yourself that things will improve or that things will get better. It’s hard to battle through the days of bettering yourself for yourself. You’re in it alone because no one else knows your body like you do. The best thing that someone can do is surround themselves with people who love them and will support them through their journey of self-improvement no matter what it may be.

It’s taken me years to come to this conclusion, but I’m glad that I finally have. I have to start to work on myself for myself. It’ll be a long tough road ahead, but I know in the end I’ll be much happier and healthier.

So to my body, even though I’m not happy with the way you are now, I still accept and love you for who you are today.