When I was in the third grade, I met my best friend. Not the kind that lasted for a few weeks before we moved on during recess, but the kind that changes your life, even if at the time she is just the little girl with big brown eyes. My little girl with big brown eyes saw me through my first days at a new school, middle school's challenges, high school's insanity and our transition to college. The little girl with big brown eyes didn't choose the same college as me. So for the first time in a decades time, I had to face the challenge of a new school and all that comes with it, without her.

Dear Best Friend,

I wish we could. I wish we could go back to the first day I met you when you drew a sunset for me on a piece of notebook paper that sat inside of my desk for the rest of the school year. I wish we could go back to middle school band where you were infinitely better than me at the flute. I wish that we could go back to baking cookies and sleepovers every weekend. I wish we could go back to little white lies about where we were while we pretended to be hardasses- knowing full well we weren't anywhere that we weren't supposed to be. I wish we could spend long nights studying at the table in your parent's basement, drinking coffee at nine o'clock at night and thinking that was a late night. I wish I was sharing college with you.

I know that we can't go back to all of it, but the memories of becoming who I am with you are what make me brave enough to face this chapter without you right by my side. I miss you and growing up with you so much but there are no words for how incredibly proud of you I am for what you are doing. I love Facetiming you once a week (or more if we are particularly stressed) and catching up on everything that I miss. My school year is so nicely punctuated by trips home and knowing I will get to see you.

I wish we could be those happy, carefree kids in the third grade again, but there is no other woman I want to share adulthood with.

Love,

Your Best Friend