I write this article in the hope it gets through to someone. Whether they know the steps my shoes have been in or see a loved one walk down them, I pray and hope this message gives you tranquility and love. If you know someone going through pain or question they are, just listen. Not only to his or her words, but also to their actions. And respond with open arms. Be there for them. Be their comfort. Just love. Thank you.

Dear Baby Girl,

I know you have experienced events that you cannot explain or understand and that’s okay. Your mother shielded you from the world, so you know no evil. And when pain, manipulation, and lies looked you right into your eyes, you did not know how to respond. You grew weak with anxiety and depression. You saw no reason to care and thought ignorant ideas of yourself. You never understood why daddy was so mean to mommy and why mommy resented daddy. You didn’t know why mommy slept in your room growing up instead of hers. You thought it was normal. You thought it was normal for marriages to be filled with bickering and fighting. You thought it was normal to hide when things got rough and loud in the house. You thought it was weird to go to therapy, but when daddy told you to not say he’s a bad daddy, you thought that was weirder. You thought it was scary when daddy hit you over and over for telling a counselor that he does bad things. You thought it was best to be quiet after that. You didn’t know and that’s not your fault. You were scared when your house flooded and you were homeless. You were anxious when you lived in a friend’s house because mommy and daddy fought and you were scared your friend would find out. You were sad because your brother did not want to live with you anymore because daddy was mean. And one day you saw daddy push mommy when she defended herself from him. You saw her struggle with him to get up. Then she begged you to call the police. And you ran to a locked door and hid. You finally got the courage to call, terrified with a dry throat. Although he did time, he came back and threatened mommy to take you away if she spoke up. So for a while she didn’t. You grew up a little and realized those things aren’t normal. And when you tried to defend mommy or yourself, he hurt you. Whether from words or from hands, he tried to keep you down. And for a long time you were depressed, my goodness you were. You spent so many days in bed looking at the ceiling, wondering what you did wrong as a daughter to deserve something like this. You were so angry; you scared yourself sometimes with your thoughts and actions. You joined clubs, volunteer groups, and sports to get you away from home, away from him. They showed you a calm and humble heart, to keep fighting for what you want, and they gave you an escape from the world. They made you happy, but they did not solve the problem. He left before he saw you accomplish school, grow into a woman, and have a genuine smile on your face. I know you still wake up at night crying, I know you still have moments of anxiety, and he still tries to contact you no matter how many times you block him. I know you’ve been hurt and that you have shed an ocean of tears. I know you have experienced pain, but let me tell you life is not that way. If the present is not happy, it’s not the end. You have so many things to accomplish, to see, to feel, and to love. You have the opportunity to be a better person not just for your future children or husband, but also for the world. You have the opportunity to stop the cycle of abuse and be the next generation of greatness. You have an amazing mother and brother, supportive friends, and the opportunity of a lifetime to be great. So stand up, dry those tears, and move forward with life. Don’t let your past stop your future, but let it help you develop into the person you want it to become.

I can’t wait to see you grow up Baby Girl.