Dealing with change is something that we are all well acquainted with. Every one of us goes through an innumerable amount of ups and downs throughout our lives. We change our opinions, our likes and dislikes, our friends, our priorities, etc. It is inevitable and unavoidable. It’s the natural way of the world and, no matter how comfortable we may be in the present, sometimes life likes to throw us curveballs.
When I think of change I like to think of it as having two personalities. For one, change can be like a fun, amusing cousin who likes to scare you when you walk around the corner. There's a moment of fear when startled, but then you both laugh about how funny the situation was after the fact. This is the lighthearted side. Change's other, more serious, side is like an overbearing grandparent. One that has those strong, ingrained opinions that make you feel like you're being tested and judged, no matter what you do. Both types are important, but are handled very differently.
Most changes, thankfully, can be or are controlled by ourselves personally. These are the amusing cousin types. We choose to transfer schools for specific programs, we choose to end bad relationships to rid ourselves of toxic people, we switch jobs for better opportunities, etc. The reasons are endless. We stress before the change actually happens and then, after the ordeal is over, we feel better overall. It's freeing for the most part. But what happens when we’re left to deal with a change that we didn’t see coming? Or had no control in?
These are the changes that throw us for a loop when we are confronted with them. The ones that come out of left field and leave us reeling. How do we adjust our footing and face something without any preparation? How do we overcome that judgement filled grandparent? It's difficult that's for sure and it's often overwhelming at times. The author Deepak Chopra once said:
“All great change is preceded by chaos.”
He has a valid point. Most of the time a change is needed, because the current situation is no longer right or good enough to be able to continue. But I do think that the chaos following big change is also just as potent. Change is never comfortable. That's not the point of the process. If change was painless, then that would mean that all change was for the better and the world would continually become a better place. This is obviously not true. We face problems daily and sometimes change doesn't fix the issue.
The change that's difficult to deal with (the overbearing grandparent) comes with the biggest impacts. Friends leave, family passes away, jobs are lost, etc. Unlike the fun side of change, where the fear is preliminary and over quickly, these changes linger and are often fraught with fear and doubt long after the events conclude. They leave us floundering in the deep end with no shallow water in sight, but we shouldn't let them bring us down forever. John F. Kennedy said:
"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."
There's no doubt that change is uncomfortable and difficult. So when hard times do hit, let's call a friend and talk it out, or do something for ourselves to ready our mind for the trials ahead. Life is a long, never-ending road that has many twists and turns. We're going to hit potholes, we're going to get flat tires, and sometimes we're even going to need new engines. But we shouldn't dwell on the unattainable past or the turbulent present and let ourselves get weighed down by the uncontrollable change. The cousin and grandparent-like changes are here to stay, but it's up to us how we deal with it.
