One of the scariest things in life for many of us is the thought of change. The idea that we will not be who we are, know who we know, or do what we do best in a few years is something that many people, including myself, would prefer not to think about. Changing means losing who we are and what we have come from. It means a loss of identity and, more importantly, of self-actualization. Or does it?

Change does not always mean we are losing - we are often able to gain, in fact. Human beings are meant to be complex and diverse creatures, and that means changing. Fearful of it or not, we are changing every day; our attitudes, friendships, relationships, even our vocabulary. So, if everyone changes nearly every day, why are we so afraid to do so?

For me, the fear of change came from the fear that I would lose something in the process. I believed for many years that who I had developed myself to be could not be altered, for if it was, someone or something may disappear. Change means the unknown. It means not necessarily being able to map out the next minute, hour, day, month or year ahead of you. Rather than having control over all elements in one’s life, change brings forth unexpected happenings. You are entirely vulnerable to the universe and what it has in store for you. Many people do not realize that vulnerability can be a good thing, something that allows the heart to be moved, the soul to be nurtured. Vulnerability, like change, is feared for the reason that we can never be sure of the true end result.

In my own life. the fear of change was something I had trouble conquering for many years. As I grew older, I seemed to become increasingly afraid that changing my surroundings would mean changing who I was; and who I was was someone I had worked hard to become. To be so sure of myself and to change would mean catastrophe in my mind. I never wanted to lose anything, and changing only seemed to mean losing myself. It meant giving up one thing for something I was assuming would be better for me. I tried many times to come to terms with change, to allow myself to become something better, to try new things, to put myself out of my comfort zone, but comfort was something I was not willing to give up. In my life today, stepping out of my comfort zone is something I strive for, something of courage and accomplishments, but for a young girl who was raised traditionally and with a comfortable lifestyle, anything besides the norm was terrifying.

I truly began to accept the idea of change when I was in high school. Most people who have experienced high school can understand how difficult of a time it can be. High school for me meant a loss of friends, a development of new personal morals, and the undertaking of a new sport, new friends and new experiences. It was a long four years that threw many obstacles at me, regardless of how much I added to my plate. The more life threw at me, the harder it was to not accept change. Change became a part of my life when I realized that I myself had been changing so much over the past few years. I had become a leader on my lacrosse team and in my school community. Whether or not it was for the better, changing meant making a difference, and it was a difference that I began to desire: to make a difference in my own life, or to make a difference in another's life. Change stopped representing something of negative value as I realized it meant a difference, an evolution, and a growth greater than I could ever imagine, greater than within my control.

With this new mindset, change was no longer something to be looked down upon, but something to be upheld. Change is for the believers who know something great can happen in return. Change is for the dreamers who know that they can keep their minds in the clouds. Change is for the brave of heart who never give up on what they love. But change, as revolutionary and extraordinary as it can be, is still not something all can overcome. Time may bring about change, but if it does not it can be terrifying to face on your own. That is why it is OK to be afraid of change; to be afraid that you may have to give something up in exchange for something greater, to be afraid of what is beyond the door. It is OK to be afraid of change, but one should always remember that the idea that one can change, to become new, to make something other than any other, should never be given up on.