“A snake was hit by a car. A woman picks him up, feeds him, and gets him to full state of health. But then he bites her, injecting her with his deadly poison. On her death bed, she asked ‘after all I did, why me?’ The snake responds, ‘you knew I was a snake when you picked me up.’”
I knew what I was doing when I fell back into his trap. I knew what I was letting happen to myself. He injected me with his poison the minute I met him. And now that poison will always be in me, slowly killing me. Everywhere I look.
In today’s society where technology and social media seem to take over our lives, I feel like it’s harder than ever to rid yourself of someone: you keep tabs on them, see how they’re doing. It’s so hard to see them on a daily basis just on your phone, yet it’s even harder to not look. It takes so much will power to not just pick up that phone and test three simple words: “I miss you.” A text that literally takes 10 seconds to type and send that could possibly change everything, or that could possibly mean nothing. I commend those that have this self control and realize their self worth enough to see past this urge every second of every day. Personally, it takes all that I have to not pick up that phone and send that message, and sometimes I come very close.
You can run, you can hide, but eventually the pain catches up to you. You can fake a smile, put your focus and mind into something else, but the pain is inevitable. No matter where you go or what they do, that “poison” will always be with you. Time will heal you. It just takes time, that's crap. So when I’m lying in my bed at night, crying and hurting from the pain, I’m just supposed to sit there and let time take its course? That seems like a real crappy way to live, day to day, wishing for it to be over, just so the pain isn’t as bad.
You’ll go crazy thinking and over analyzing every little thing. What if I had done this? What if I had sent this text or said these words? Heartbreak takes no shortcuts; it takes its sweet time slowly destroying you as a person, forcing your true self to reveal. Seeing if you’re strong enough to handle the cards it deals you, the cards you ironically dealt yourself when you chose to care for the poisonous snake. Why do they call it heartbreak if it slowly targets every single part of you -- your mind, your soul, your body? Like I said, there’s no avoiding it. But when is that? It’s like mourning a death, and it’s all about the grieving process even though you know they’re just a phone call or short drive away.
So you play yourself a Taylor Swift song and cry. And try to think about tomorrow and pray it brings more happiness and less pain. But every night it creeps up to you and there’s no escaping it. “And time, is taking its sweet time erasing you.” Emphasis on sweet, because time seems to be the only one enjoying this. Eventually, you get past it. You realize how destructive they were to you and how you truly deserve better. After a while it gets old, being upset and trying to put on a smile all of the time. You know you deserve happiness. So you finally rid yourself of him and the “poison” he injected you with leaving nothing, but the whole and happy person you should be. And that, my friend, is the end of all the bad and the beginning of the great.
