As a young woman, someone constantly has an opinion about how I choose to live. People constantly have an opinion on how I dress, how I speak, how I sit, and now apparently when I can go to the bathroom.

This year I started at a new school, it started off really amazing. My teachers are incredibly engaged in their subjects and create colorful images with their lectures, all but one. As I got to know this specific teacher I began to feel incredibly uncomfortable. He continued to pick on me and the other girls in a very condescending and disturbing way and I watched as all of my fellow female students lost their confidence within a week. No one wanted to speak up, we were all scared of getting in trouble or being humiliated further. This awkwardness continued to grow until finally within the fourth week of school he embarked on a speech about not allowing anyone to go to the bathroom in his class anymore. This, while seemingly overly intense of a rule, quickly spiralled into a nightmare. He then proceeds to lecture the female section of the class about not using our “lady problems” to get out of class. During this the class exploded into absolute chaos. Each and every girl cracked in the moment and began spewing how ridiculous his sentiment was, the less he listened the angier we got. Because, as ridiculous as this speech and this man was, it wasn’t why we were upset.

It was a culmination of years of being told how your body works and how to use it. Years of sexist dress codes, victim blaming, and half assed sex ed classes. Young women are constantly told who to be and how to be that person. We are told to be polite and delicate like pretty pink flowers that must be protected and kept pure. We are taught never to express the extensive pains and complications of menstruating and to never even say the word. Instead we should keep this basic bodily function a dirty secret, running to the bathroom in between classes with hidden pads stuffed up our sleeves, praying nothing is showing on our pants.

This not ok. This is not a suitable way to raise a generation of girls, or how to raise a generation of respectful men.

It is not ok to make your female students feel inferior by talking down to them, it is not ok to flick your students, and it is most certainly not ok to act as if you understand their biological needs and functions because “you’ve had two wives.”

We need to open up our thinking as a society and stop penalizing women for things they can’t control. Because as long as we have sexist and demeaning teachers and leaders we will never be able to change the way new generations think about their place in the world.