Fights with close friends usually result in a terrifying situation that people try to avoid at all costs: drama. It’s not fun to spend days or even weeks walking on eggshells around your closest friends, still stingy from the most recent quarrel. Perhaps that’s why people find themselves voicing a false opinion that matches with everyone else’s: to prevent conflicts from arising. Even with the constant reminders to “stand up for yourself!” and to never let the majority prevent you from asserting a dissenting stance, risking a conflict that could potentially escalate out of hand often doesn’t feel worth the hassle. However, repeatedly agreeing on positions one doesn’t really believe can also catch up and lead to awkward situations when the other person realizes they have been lied to.
While concurring may be an easy way out, constant agreement and consistency in all opinions can easily get boring. Honestly, if everything was agreed upon every single time, there wouldn’t be a need to discuss anything. Yes, a lot of friends are made because of similarities in beliefs and personalities, but no two people are exactly the same. A genuine relationship shouldn’t only be comprised of agreements- you should be comfortable enough to voice your opinions, even if it clashes with the other person’s beliefs.
Yet differences in opinions often lead to discord, which can be incredibly unpleasant to deal with. But if you think about it objectively, wouldn’t you rather have him/her just tell you the truth instead of expecting an agreement every single time, no matter how strongly you feel about a topic? If you were the one with the discrepancy against the majority opinion, more likely than not you would feel inclined to say how you actually feel. Instead of taking a friend’s disagreement as a personal offense and ignoring them for the rest of the day, perhaps one should evaluate the stance he/she is taking and assess the validity of his/her arguments before making hasty decisions. Maybe the topic was a very personal subject, or maybe it’s something he/she feels uncomfortable talking about.
However, arguments between the closest of friends can be inevitable. Don’t worry; it’s not the end of the world. Especially for people who don’t experience these situations often, it can be shocking to find yourself turning to tell your best friend something interesting or funny you saw, only to realize that they aren’t there. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should assume the worst and think you’ll never talk ever again. Sometimes taking the time to cool off will help you realize your differences can actually strengthen the relationship.
On the other hand, there are times when conflicts between friends cannot be resolved. It could be a single issue that drives you apart and neither one of you can seem to get over that barrier no matter how hard you try, or it could be that you constantly find yourself in the middle of an argument with that person. Unfortunately, we have to realize that friendships do end. It does no good to continue a relationship that is so incompatible with differing personalities that fights constantly happen.
More often than not, the fight will blow over relatively quickly. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to see their point of view by assuming that the conflict will be resolved in a few days. Understanding why the discrepancy led to a fight (a misunderstanding, an error in communication, etc.) can help prevent future disagreements from escalating. So the next time your best friend doesn’t agree with you or when you get an argument him/her, don’t take it personally, and try to see their side before assuming the worst. After all, you can’t be right all the time!
