Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted something really bad and no matter how many things you apply for, nothing works out? That's where I am this week. I have applied for several positions all around campus and I have received one. Now I know what you are thinking, "ummm jazz, you should be thankful for the one position you did get!" And to that I would say, you're right. And I am. But when God blesses you in a particular area, don't you think you should use your gifts?

I love my campus. Huntington University has left a lasting impact on my life and I truly couldn't be who I am today without my time here. But there are sometimes when not everything feels like it works out. This is the mind working against its self. I know my campus from front to back and even on my worst days, I know all decisions are made for the greater good. This semester I applied to be a resident assistant (RA) and a campus ministry coordinator (CMC,) I received nether position.

I was shattered.

How could I not be chosen? I have wonder speech skills, I love people and have a passion to help them, I know this campus because I have been here for two years, I..I...I..I..I just don't get it.

This is the moment that sucks. I call it the "how did I mess up my interview timeline" And the funny thing is, I didn't. I was who I am and that's all I can be. It is hard to believe sometimes that there is someone out there better suited for the job but NEWS FLASH EVERYONE: You aren't the greatest thing in the world.

*gasps from the crowd, followed by a hush*

I know, and I am guilty of this as well, we tend to believe we are the most amazing thing and that is a very toxic attitude. It is better to come into a room and say, "okay, I may not be the best person in this room but I am not the worst. I am equal."

Another thing I find completely hilarious is how self righteous we can be without knowing it. We never stop to think about someone else who is appealing for the job. We never think, "wow, you really killed that interview! I hope if I don't get it, that you do. You deserve it!"

Sometimes we have to sit back and realize that not getting that promotion you wanted or not getting that RA spot doesn't make you any less of a qualified person. It just means that in this season of life, God has different plans. I will be the first to admit that I HATE not getting that position I applied for, but it won't stop me from serving my floor, my roommate, and my campus. I AM ENOUGH! I CAN DO THIS AND SO CAN YOU!