How To Deal With Internal Conflicts
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Health and Wellness

How To Deal With Internal Conflicts

When the problem is not the situation, but yourself.

How To Deal With Internal Conflicts
Wladyslaw Teodor Benda

This past week I visited my high school two years after I graduated. I went there with my friends to participate in the discussions of the Model UN club we used to be part of. I thought we were discussing economics of the International Monetary Fund, but topics changed last minute for us to practice an "elevator pitch." The topic: define what “conflict” is and use a personal experience to exemplify it. When speeches began, the focus went from internal dilemmas and history to a poetic denouncement of sexism... I had some time to develop my ideas and be satisfied with what I had come up with. So, when it was my turn, my speech was somewhat like this (or I wished it was something like this):

“My first MUN conference in the US was last Spring, during my freshman year. My colleagues from college were mostly Americans and people inside the General Assembly committee were mostly Americans. And I wanted to perform the same way I do in Brazilian conferences, proving my competence to myself and others – specially to myself. So I studied really hard during the previous weeks and paid attention to each and every speech during the discussions. I had great ideas I wanted to share, and I noticed some inconsistencies coming from other delegates. But the need to put the name of country I was representing on a piece of paper and give it to the chair to be added to the speakers list was enough to discourage me from speaking. And this internal dilemma I reminded me of all the other situations where I wanted to step in and I didn’t, situations in which I felt the need to speak my mind but found comfort in my silence. It could have been with my friends, family, or even that "Hey, sexy" some random guy yelled at me on the street. And this internal dilemma was never solved just because I didn't allow myself to create a conclusion to it in the external world - a unresolved conflict. “Should I speak?” you may ask me. "Spell it out.”

I went back to my seat with tears in my eyes, and those that already knew me were familiar with some of the situations I mentioned. The odd but amazing thing is that I believe I just put an end to all those conflicts I still had in my mind, only by sharing it all in a room mostly of strangers.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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